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Friday, May 30, 2003
Experiments in culinary goodness OK, so I've descended to posting recipes on my blog. If I start posting "kute" stories about my kitty cats in the near future, I would greatly appreciate some kind soul driving a stake through my heart at the earliest opportunity. Last night, as it was the day before our weekly trip to the grocery store, I decided to see how I could stretch the skimpy offerings in the pantry and fridge for supper. A stir fry-type meal seemed the best option, so I pulled out some boneless chicken breasts ond scrounged a selection of other ingredients. What follows was tasty and expeditious: 1 lb boneless chicken breasts, sliced into 1" pieces 1/3c peanut butter 2 tablespoons seasame oil 1 tbs white vinegar 2 tbs light soy sauce 1 tbs brown suger 1 green onion, finely chopped 1 tsp chopped fresh ginger 1 tsp ground cayenne pepper 2 medium white onions, sliced into strips 2 carrots, sliced into thin wafers other vegetables to taste (I used frozen mixed vegatables just to fill it all out, although I think some fresh bell peppers and green beans would be best) Mix the peanut butter and sesame oil until the mixture has the consistency of pudding Add the vinegar, soy sauce, sugar, green onion and ginger, then add cayenne to taste (it should be a midrange spicy/sweet, not hot enough to scorch) Cook the chicken in a wok or large skillet with about 1 tbs of oil, then set aside to drain Add vegetables to wok, stir fry until they are cooked but haven't lost their crispiness Add chicken to vegetables, stir in sauce and stir fry abour 2-3 minutes, until it's all a uniform temperature Serve over rice. serves 2 adults and 2 finicky children | Thursday, May 29, 2003
Mom, Dad: You were wrong, I was right. Nyah! Study says some video games boost perception I quote: A new study suggests action-packed video games like "Grand Theft Auto III" and "Counter-Strike" may sharpen your mind. Researchers at the University of Rochester found that young adults who regularly played video games full of high-speed car chases and blazing gun battles showed better visual skills than those who did not. For example, they kept better track of objects appearing simultaneously and processed fast-changing visual information more efficiently. So you see, Melissa, Drew and Franny need that Playstation 2.... | Wednesday, May 28, 2003
ZOMBIE ATTACK! Well, not exactly, but this article shows that we face a more dire threat from the recently-deceased than previously thought. Right now, it's just "accidental" collisions with gas stations, next week, they're milling around outside your door and moaning, "Braaaiiiinnnnssssss!" Just remember, folks: head shots take 'em down, anything else just makes 'em angry. Thanks to Julie for this link! | Monday, May 26, 2003
What happens when you don't take your medication Whacknoodle of the day Apparently, those dastardly bat-rastards at NASA are hiding THE! REAL!! TRUTH!!! from us! This page is dedicated to what many have called The New Renaissance Man. You will find the many facets of James M. McCanney including the Space Science Theory that has withstood decades of change and new information. In a world full of mis-information, crooked politicians, government supported scientists, scammers and people with hidden agendas ... who do you believe? At jmccanneyscience.com you will learn about one person who has turned away from those looking to sell his information for monetary gain and jealous intentions. You will see that over the past decades many people have attempted to copy this freely available information for fame and profit. Now it will be permanently available on this Web site for the benefit of everyone. A daily news program will bring current information with critical review not available through the standard news media. Return often and when important news stories erupt! Ah, I see! You're a fucking loon. What else can you tell us, Mr. McCanney? Heavens Gate - was NOT a cult but was a group of 39 or more very highly talented programmers who were NOT suicidal. They were building the most sophisticated firewall and encryption software on the planet. When their web page mentioned Hale Boppand all of a sudden became very popular as they were about to "leave society" they were called to a meeting and the mole (we think that programmer mole is quite active on the current Planet X government disinformation web site and related work on the web ... yes these are some really nice folks working for your government) ... the mole informed the execution squad and one by one as the programmers entered the house they were murdered. There was never an autopsy performed. The government immediately pulled down and changed their web site and had a huge front page disinformation campaign in place all over this country. Although not related to Planet X exactly, John Denver was about to become the first civilian to go into space under the direction of the Russian Space program. This was a little known fact about John. The "accident" was clearly the same "method" employed by the Clinton-Bush gang in the Mena Arkansas cocaine drug smuggling ring of the mid 1980's (for more information read Terry Read's book "Compromised"). The way they eliminated risk pilots was to mess with their flight instruments to either send them off course or fix their gas gage to read full but with an empty tank ... that is what I think happened to John Denver. Immediately upon John's death there was a national news campaign to smear him calling him a drunk alcoholic and that the FAA had been trying to pull his pilots license. That was most interesting since Northwest Airlines at the time had no less that 6 pilots currently flying 747's who had worse drinking records than this including drinking ON THE JOB and the FAA did nothing about them. My...GOD!!!! THose bastards MURDERED JOHN DENVER??!!!!!! Apparently, this guy claims that Art Bell, late-night radio whacknoodle enabler, is also now a pawn of the murdering goons at NASA. You know, because that makes so much more sense. I'd provide more quotes from this nutjob, but I feel intellectually dirty just posting what I have. Read the rest and weep, weep for the complete lack of laws allowing goobs like this guy to be sterilized. | Friday, May 23, 2003
NASA gets something right NASA has released a photo of the Earth and Jupiter from Mars orbit. Earth and Luna are visible at the top of the picture, Jupiter and 2 moons (Io and Ganymede? Not sure) are at the bottom. It's beautiful. Show this to someone you know, and if they look at it and say, "So what?" hit them very hard and run away. Dammit, this is why we need to go. Right now, we've got all our eggs in one tiny basket, and it wouldn't take much (from a galactic point of view) to do irreperable damage to our home. I want beanstalks, arcologies, space arks, asteroid habitats, La Grange cities, orbital factories and solar sails. That's what I want to see before I die. Thanks to Dave Friedman for the link | Thursday, May 22, 2003
Your tax dollars at work In 1974, the CIA identified a threat against one of the most beloved figures in the Western World - Santa Claus. For 25 years, this information was, rightly, classified as Top Secret. "A new organization of uncertain makeup using the name 'Group of the Martyr Ebenezer Scrooge' plans to sabotage the annual courier flight of the Government of the North Pole," the CIA said in its December 17, 1974 "Weekly Situation Report on International Terrorism." "Prime Minister and Chief Courier S. Claus has been notified and security precautions are being coordinated worldwide by the CCCT working group," it said, identifying the night of December 24-25, 1974 as the date for the planned "sabotage." Thank God this story can be released, although I do wonder when we'll be able to see the after-action reports detailing the military escorts provided Prime Minister Claus that fateful eve... | Wednesday, May 21, 2003
I HATE NABISCO Those goat-raping bastards at Nabisco responded quickly enough today, but it was only to tell me that Doo-Dads, the Snack Of The Gods (OK, so it's the snack of the lesser gods that hang around in the basement at Olympus and play RPGs all night instead of doing Godly stuff like smiting), are no longer being made. Thanks for visiting our Web site and inquiring about the availability of our products. It's great to hear from consumers who are looking for our products because it lets us know how much you enjoy them. The tough part comes when we have to share the news that the product you're trying to find has been discontinued. If products don't seem to be popular with our consumers, and demand starts to drop, a decision is made to discontinue the item. Once this decision is made, we stop making the product and the remaining supply is shipped from our warehouse to the grocery stores. Please add our site to your bookmarks, and visit us again soon! I hate them. | Fucking goat-raping bastards So, I had a couple of bucks today, and figured I'd treat myself to one of my favorite crunchy snacks. I go to Albertson's, walk to the snack aisle and look in the huge goddamn wall of Nabisco products, and I could not find the Doo-Dads. Doo-Dads - a near-perfect combination of pretzels, cheese sticks, peanuts and Chex cereals, loaded with salt and those fats that are deadly enough to kill you over the phone. Navigating to the Nabisco web site, I cannot find any reference to Doo-Dads. Oh, no. They've got a whole fucking page devoted to the vileness that is "Chicken in a biscuit", they rave about every single sick, twisted variation on Oreo cookies (sorry, but the original is the only way to go), but they don't even mention the Doo-Dads. Fortunately, they offered me an opportunity to contact them regarding this cruel oversight. So I did: What happened to Doo-Dads? They were one of my favorite snacks, and I can't find them anywhere. I'll tolerate the sick, perverted varieties of Oreo cookies you have foisted off on a deluded American public, but this apparent forced removal of the single greatest combination of salty, cruchy treats will not be tolerated. We'll see if they're brave enough to answer my letter. I may have to escalate if they do not. | Tuesday, May 20, 2003
Neutrino beam could destroy nuclear weapons This article describes a theoretical device that could send a stream of neutrinos through the crust of the Earth towards a nuclear device, which would in turn produce a hadron shower that would cause the meltdown or vaporization of the nuclear weapon. The drawbacks are: (1) Requires a 1000 km diameter accelerator ring. (2) Requires about 50 GW (that's as much energy as the UK uses in a year. (3) The interaction of the neutrino beam with the bomb "could lead to a full explosion" instead of eliminating it. Of course, were I say, an Evil Genius, with a secret base on Volcano Island and my own superfusion reactor, I'd be in like Flynn. Quake in fear, puny mortals! | Monday, May 19, 2003
For fans of Office Space, I've got this kewl goodness: Lumbergh sound board. Requires sound, loads of fun. If you don't like it, we'll have to have a little talk, mmmmmmK? | Friday, May 16, 2003
Kraft foods chickens out. The makers of delicious Oreo cookies have announced they'll be removing trans fats from their cookies, causing the idiotic lawsuit in the previous entry to be dropped. The lawyer that filed the suit expressed pleasure that trans fats, SILENT KILLERS OF BILLIONS, will not be in the formerly yummy treats any more. I'll express pleasure when they find his decomposing body crammed with Oreo crumbs after he is visited by a group of disgruntled Oreo lovers. Maybe this asswipe can target something else that's universally loved and force it to change. You know, the game "Monopoly" encourages greedy capitalist impulses, and caused me to make my Mother-In-Law cry once. Maybe Parker Brothers needs to be told to excise all the "buying" and "renting" in the game. Feh. | Tuesday, May 13, 2003
And further evidence that some people have entirely too much time on their hands: A San Francisco lawyer has announced that Oreos are too dangerous for children to eat, and has filed the lawsuit to prove it. The lawsuit, filed last week in Marin County superior court, seeks a ban on the black and white cookies, arguing the trans fats that make the filling creamy and the cookie crisp are too dangerous for children to eat. I'm not a scientist, nor am I an expert on the dangers children face in their daily lives (unless you count being the parent of two danger-seeking children), but I think cuts to social services and education funding are a bigger danger. Hell, I think radioactive zombies are a bigger threat than goddamn cookies. | Monday, May 12, 2003
You guys living outside of Texas will be happy to know that our legislators are preparing to take a bold stand against one of the primary threats to our Precious Bodily Fluids - PUBIC HAIR. After successfully defending the rights of hetrosexshul Christians to not be offended by the presence of married hom'sexshul couples, Rep. Bill Zedler has authored a bill that will prevent the display of "any portion of the female breast below the top of the areola or of any portion of the pubic hair, anus, cleft of the buttocks, vulva or genitals." My GOD! To think of all the times I've been visually assaulted by nipples, pubic hair, anuses and genitals! Thank god the Republicans are here to save us. | Who's the black private dick That's a sex machine to all the chicks? SHAFT! Ya damn right! Who is the man that would risk his neck For his brother man? SHAFT! Can you dig it? Who's the cat that won't cop out When there's danger all about? SHAFT! Right On! They say this cat Shaft is a bad mother SHUT YOUR MOUTH! I'm talkin' 'bout Shaft. THEN WE CAN DIG IT! He's a complicated man But no one understands him but his woman JOHN SHAFT! | Friday, May 09, 2003
I'm a bloggin fool today.... Budget tradeoffs This informes me that: Tax cuts for the richest 1% in Texas will amount to $3.0 billion in 2003. If this money were used for state and local programs instead, Texas could provide: 443,061 Housing Vouchers or 625,020 People Receiving Health Care or 62,136 Elementary School Teachers or 13,124 Firetrucks or 439,831 Head Start Places for Children or 1,634,481 Children Receiving Health Care So please, let's get those damn freeloading children off the backs of our poor, oppressed ultra-rich. God knows they need that extra BMW. | Dixiecrats dealt a defeat Georgia governor Sonny Purdue, who ran on a platform that pretty much consisted of pandering to dumbass crackers who regret the end of Segregation, decided not to contest a change of the GA flag from the design implemented by former governor Barnes to one that resembles the "Stars and Bars" of the Confederacy. Barnes' loss in the election last year was seen by many as a result of Purdue's rousing of the Dixiecrat Jerkwater constituency, as Unreconstructed Redneck Morons were SHOCKED that anyone in the South could consider the Civil War "over" and that therefore the Confederate battle flag, emblem of segregationists and Klan Dipshits, was nothing but an embarrassment for the state. In 10 months, there will be a referendum on the flag, and the 1956-2001 flag, which featured the Redneck Flag, will not be one of the options. Tim Pilgrim, a protester from Smyrna, said supporters of the 1956 flag feel "totally betrayed" by Perdue. Cry me a fuckin' river, dumbass. | Some of you may have been to these links before, but at any rate, they're wicked funny: Evil Overlord.com - So, you want to be an Evil Overlord. Here's some suggestions on how not to screw it up. Some funny examples: When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No." One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them. Villainsupply.com - if you're an Evil Overlord, you've gotta wonder where they get those ultra-cool bases, Doomsday Devices and henchmen. Answer: Villain Supply, Inc, that's where. They're even running a clearance sale: CLEARANCE SALE: WEAPONS GRADE PLUTONIUM In preparation for its impending annihilation by U.S. Forces, the Government of Syria is liquidating its entire stock of Weapons Grade Plutonium-239. VillainSupply is acting as broker for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! Act NOW!! Price: US$25,000,000 per metric ton CHEAP!! | Thursday, May 08, 2003
Trebuchets Coolness, if you're into medieval siege weaponry capable of hurling large weights hundreds of feet to smack into stone walls and shatter them like the dreams of idealistic youth faced with the cold, harsh reality of the Wide World. Sooner or later, I'm going to build a trebuchet I can use to hurl bowling balls across Lake Travis. No reason other than the desire to throw things. Thanks to Chris Turk for the link. | Monday, May 05, 2003
Warren Buffet comments on Shrub's "tax cut". Man, I like this dude. One of the richest men in the world, and one of the smartest investors, and he's railing against tax cuts for the rich and the obscene "compensation packages" given the fat cats that pretend to run corporations. Dig this: “I am not for the Bush plan. It screams of injustice. The main beneficiaries will be people like me and Charlie,” he said, referring to the Berkshire Hathaway vice-chairman Charlie Munger. Mr Buffett said the tax plan was equivalent to “us giving a lesser percentage of our incomes to Washington than the people working in our shoe factories”. Someone give that man a see-gar. I'm no Socialist, but I sometimes think that the pro-business/anti-government loons are out to make me one. Dammit, there ain't much ANYONE does that's worth what some of these jerkwaters make. The former CEO of the company I work for got $36,000,000 just for leaving the company. That's right - 36 million for NOT WORKING ANYMORE. WTF is up with that? | Gaaaah. Had to run to the hardware store yesterday afternoon, so I took The Girl with me. When I returned, I walked into the kitchen and saw The Boy sitting in the center of a red, gooey mess. My first thought was that he had somehow cut an artery, so I had a minor freakout. Melissa, who had been upstairs, came running down to see what was going on. Turns out The Boy had decided to perform an experiment, which involved pouring sugar, parmesan cheese, almond extract, cocoa powder and red food coloring onto the floor and, I discovered a few minutes later, placing some of it in a bowl in the freezer, positioned such that opening the freezer door spilled it all over the inside of the freezer. For some reason, throwing a dozen eggs in the backyard was also part of this experiment. I wasn't able to determine what his hypothesis was, but I suspect it involved finding out how quickly he could lose TV and Ice Cream priveleges for 3 days. Gaaaah. | Thursday, May 01, 2003
Here's a good link: PBX operator livejournal. It's a hoot, and might make you assholes out there think twice before being rude to your operator. | |