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Monday, June 30, 2003
Apologies again for the spittle-flecked rant of yesterday - I just flat don't like them as think that two consenting adults can't get together if they want. But my real reason for being here today is this: Salon has an interview with John Mellencamp (registration required via the viewing of an advertisement) in which he discusses his career, politics and the reaction to his new song, To Washington. It's a good song, full of what I like about Mellencamp's music - it's stripped down, straightforward and anti-authority. Check it out, buy a copy of the man's albums. Clear Channel doesn't think he is worthy of airplay, despite 29 Top-40 singles in 21 albums. I think he's moving towards becoming the Woody Guthrie of our time, myself. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:18:00 AM   | Sunday, June 29, 2003
Whacknoodle of the week Usually, the WotW is some harmless eccentric, posting his insane theories to the world from his mother's basement, courtesy of that wonder of the modern age, the internet. Kind of like I do, except I have my own home, and I don't have a basement. This week, we've got a more insidious kind of Whacknoodle - the kind that gets elected to the Senate. Check out this shit. The Senate majority leader said Sunday he supported a proposed constitutional amendment to ban homosexual marriage in the United States. Sen. Bill Frist, R-Tenn., said the Supreme Court's decision last week on gay sex threatens to make the American home a place where criminality is condoned. Jesus Jumped-Up Christ, why can't these people be put down when they're young, before they get power? And what the fuck are you assholes doing electing them in the first place? Here's more: "I have this fear that this zone of privacy that we all want protected in our own homes is gradually -- or I'm concerned about the potential for it gradually being encroached upon, where criminal activity within the home would in some way be condoned," Frist told ABC's "This Week." "And I'm thinking of -- whether it's prostitution or illegal commercial drug activity in the home -- ... to have the courts come in, in this zone of privacy, and begin to define it gives me some concern." Because, you know, once people can have sex in their homes with any consenting adult they choose, it's only logical that they immediately move into prostitution and drug sales/distribution. What other pearls of wisdom do you have for us, Senator? Asked whether he supported an amendment that would ban any marriage in the United States except a union of a man and a woman, Frist said: "I absolutely do, of course I do. "I very much feel that marriage is a sacrament, and that sacrament should extend and can extend to that legal entity of a union between -- what is traditionally in our Western values has been defined -- as between a man and a woman. So I would support the amendment." You know what I support? I support fundamentalist morons like you getting the fuck out of politics, so you can go live in your little Christian gated communities, read Christian newspapers and furtively masturbate to the thought of Antonio the Pool Boy touching you there , rather than inflicting your homophobic, small-minded, asinine prejudices on the sane members of society that could care less who marries who, as long as they love each other. My apologies if this was less than coherent - I just get a little over-full of having to put up with these goddamn morons. Oh, for a bowel disruptor.... I'd set mine for "Anal Volcano". posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:13:00 PM | I'm kind of tired today - up late meeting with some Vampire: The Masquerade LARPers. I'll post more, after I've had time to digest the experience. Right now, I'm off to take Drew to see "Finding Nemo". posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 2:18:00 PM | Saturday, June 28, 2003
To link to a post In this weblog, it's easy: Simply click the date. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 1:51:00 PM | The first attempt was, In retrospect, not as good As it could have been. I shall endeavor to craft more nuanced haiku As the day goes on. Why do I do this, You ask? Because I can, and Because I am bored. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 7:47:00 AM | Friday, June 27, 2003
I think, perhaps, I Shall post tomorrow's entries In haiku. Maybe. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 3:24:00 PM | Apparently, some people think I should be more of a team player, so I will now try to list the frickin' albums I've listened to the most. Or maybe just the ones that come to mind. In no particular order.... (1) Mr. Rogers - "You Are Very Special" - Between the ages of 3-6, I listened to that damn thing hundreds, if not thousands, of times. Since then, I've listened to it once (around age 20), and realized that as a small child I had hideous taste in music. (2) The Clumsy Lovers - "Still Clumy After All These Years" - A more recent acquisition, and one I just can't get enough of. (3) Tim Truman and the Dixie Pistols - "Marauder" - Had it on tape in college, it was my workout music. Comic writer/artist Tim Truman (Jonah Hex, Scout and Scout: War Shaman) cut this album in the late 80's. Hard driving Texas Blues, best song on the album is "Blues Crusade". Unfortunately, the only copy of the album I've ever seen was destroyed when I lived with the World's Stupidest Roommates in Atlanta, and I've been so far unable to locate a copy on ebay. I will pay premium prices for this one, so keep your eyes open. (4) Robert Cray - "Strong Persuader" - The flip side of my workout tape above. Robert Cray. 'Nuff said, man. (5) The Sex Pistols - "Never Mind the Bollocks" - Listened to this one incessantly my Freshman and Sophomore years of college, initially to combat the asswipe dipshit roommate I had Freshman year who would play his 45 of Neil Diamond's "Song Sung Blue" over and over and over. I soon discovered that throwing the knife I made in metals shop in high school at the corkboard over his bed was more effective. The time I pegged the board 2" from his left ear was when he finally understood I wasn't goddamn kidding about not wanting to hear that fucking crap he was playing. He moved out shortly thereafter. Honorable mention: Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson & Waylon Jennings - My parents had a bunch of their albums when I was young, and to me, that's what Country music is supposed to sound like. Well, them plus Hank Williams Sr and Patsy Cline. John Mellencamp - The man doesn't get the airplay he deserves. Stevie Ray Vaughn - His "Little Wing" is the single most haunting song I've ever heard. The best music I know to accompany depression and heavy drinking. David Bowie - "Diamond Dogs" and "Ziggy Stardust". Glam rock at its best. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:35:00 AM | Friday 5 Will Garcia's idea, this one: The top 5 albums I've listened to most often. I don't recall the names of albums very well, so I'll do books instead. (1) The Three Musketeers (2) Huckleberry Finn (3) Starship Troopers (4) I, Robot (5) The Chronicles of Narnia And in a side note, I'd like to welcome Chris Dove to the blogosphere. He's at Pressure Valve. Chris is a damn smart guy, and the person I call at odd hours of the night when I'm idly curious about some asinine point of law, like whether Texas' "Consent to Fight" laws could be applied to superheroes. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 6:27:00 AM | Thursday, June 26, 2003
Fun toy Create-a-fart. Allows you to customize a fart, then email it to a friend. Heh. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 3:28:00 PM | Think of it as evolution in action Picked up that phrase from a Larry Niven book years ago, and I usually throw it into conversation whenever I read or hear about some dipshit doing something stupid and removing himself from the gene pool. Today, I use it in a completely non-ironic sense, and I restate something you've all heard me say many times before: We are living in amazing times. My latest casue for enthusiasm is this article, which informs us that scientists have isolated an antibody that recognizes the HIV virus. Seems there's this one guy who has the HIV virus, but doesn't have AIDS, because, unique to him so far, he's got this one kind of antibody that sees through HIV's disguise of human proteins and attacks it. This puts us a little bit closer to an HIV vaccine, which is a damn good thing. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 3:15:00 PM | Supreme Court: "Gay sex a go-go!" The Supreme Court today ruled that gay Americans have a right to have consensual sex with each other, throwing out a Texas law prohibiting consensual sex between individuals of the same sex. The extent of their ruling also invalidates similar laws in Missouri, Kansas and Oklahoma, as well as laws prohibiting all consensual sodomy in Idaho, Utah, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina and Virginia. The Supremes recognized that Americans don't want or need the government telling them which consenting adults they're allowed to bugger, and I, for one, couldn't be happier with this ruling. Of course, this will be chalked up with Roe v Wade by the simpleminded Right as further evidence that Ahmurrika is being sold down the river to the GAY/ABORTIONIST CONSPIRACY, polluting our Precious Bodily Fluids, but I think we could use a little pollution like this. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 11:32:00 AM | Wednesday, June 25, 2003
Lester Maddox, dead at 87 Lester Maddox, former governor of Georgia, died yesterday at the age of 87 from pneumonia. Maddox was a sonofabitch, no doubt about it. He closed down his chain of fried chicken restaurants rather than integrate them, was famous for carrying an ax handle to enforce segregation, and was in general an unpleasant character. On the other hand, he took a surprisingly moderate course when he was elected governor, and appointed dozens of African-Americans to state positions, as well as instituted an early release program from the state prisons. He was the kind of nastily bigoted cracker that makes the South look bad, and he never had a moment of public repentance like George Wallace, or even the mealy-mouthed "change of heart" that Strom Thurmond has proclaimed. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 11:31:00 AM | Tuesday, June 24, 2003
Why I hate the Sci-Fi Channel (1) They use the term "sci fi". Gaaah - hate it, hate it, hate it. I understand the desire to market their product under a name that is easily recognized and easy to remember, but gaaaaaah. (2) They've decided not to do groundbreaking, innovative original shows, and have determined that quality reruns are not their bag either. Thus, no "Farscape", they didn't even consider picking up Joss Whedon's brilliant "Firefly", and they would rather run "Battleshit Galacticrap" than "The Prisoner". (3) John Edwards. WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY DOES SOME CON-ARTIST CHARLATAN THAT PRETENDS TO TALK TO DEAD PEOPLE HAVE TO DO WITH SCIENCE FICTION? (4) This shit. (NYT website, registration required). I'll quote some for those that would rather not register: In an unusual step for a television network, the Sci Fi Channel is campaigning to persuade the government to be more forthcoming and aggressive in investigating UFO sightings. Sci Fi has hired a Washington lobbyist, received support from former Clinton chief of staff John Podesta, sponsored a symposium on interstellar travel and is considering a court effort to declassify documents related to a 1965 incident in Pennsylvania. I like genre TV, but I hate it when it's done poorly. Right now, it's being done poorly. Anyone got $100,000,000 so I can set up my own network? posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:04:00 AM | Monday, June 23, 2003
OK, after spending Sunday recovering further, as well as doing a test shoot for a documentary project I'm doing with Will Garcia and David Friedman, I'm almost recovered. Granted, staying up until 2AM reading the latest installment in the Harry Potter saga doesn't help, but... Road Trip Zen Insights (1) The musicals of Andrew Lloyd Weber are not good road-trip music, although Les Miserables is. (2) You're getting old when you get more excited about a gas station in Giddings, TX that sells gas for $1.18/gal than you do about going to New Orleans. (3) Cruise Control is a Good Thing. (4) There is a guy named Steve Page in Vidor, TX that (according to the billboards I saw) killed his wife and got away with it, although he was convicted of responsibility for her murder in civil court and also pled guilty to defiling her grave. I have been unable to Google any more information about this, and I must admit that I'm very curious at this point, in a "let's slow down and look at that car wreck" kind of way. (5) Casinos in Louisiana are not as sexy as the casinos in Las Vegas or Atlantic City. Disclaimer: I've only been in one casino in my life, in Montreal, so I'm basing this opinion on 2 things: The Film Oceans 11 (yes, the Clooney remake - sue me) and the large numbers of Recreational Vehicles clustered around the lakeside casinos in Lake Charles, LA (right across the lake from the chemical plant - that right there takes the Sexy Meter down about 1,000 notches). To be honest, I'd rather not lose this uninformed opinion via exposure to the actual facts - either by discovering Vegas is just as tacky or that LA casinos are actually cool. This will remain a cherished prejudice not based in fact. (6) Beef jerky is an excellent road trip snack, Nutter Butters are not. (7) Houston, TX smells about like I imagine a wet dog's ass would smell. I pity those people unfortunate enough to live there. (Hi, Chris and Shannon!) (8) There are a lot of dumbasses that spent $50,000 for a goddamn H2 SUV, and I need to know who they are so I can fleece them as God obviously intended, because he sure didn't give them a lick of common sense. (9) Late night AM radio preachers are incredibly entertaining. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 9:32:00 AM | Saturday, June 21, 2003
Back in Austin I spent more time pn the road to and from New Orleans than I did actually there, and somehow managed to avoid completely any of the delightful and exciting means of violating the 10 Commandments while in town. Sleep would be nice, and maybe tonight or tomorrow I'll share some of my Road Trip Zen Insights. Looking around.... Alright, who spilled the green stuff on the carpet in here? I leave this place open while I'm out of town, and you guys ruin the carpet. Do you have any idea how expensive it is to clean these carpets? Especially something like this, with a smell I won't describe.... posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 6:06:00 PM | Friday, June 20, 2003
Friday 5 Meredith's turn to pick the topic this week, which is : Books (or movies) I know all about but haven't read (seen). Hurm. Guess I'll go with movies. OK, here goes: (1) Easy Rider - Just never got around to that one. (2) Friday the 13th (any version) - Never wanted to get around to those, as snuff-porn doesn't do it for me. (3) The Matrix Reloaded - Yeah, yeah, I'll see it eventually. (4) Titanic - At this point, I'd rather have my pubic hair singed off than see this. I hope to go to my grave never having seen Titanic. (5) Birth of a Nation - I know I ought to see this, but films that glorify the KKK as protectors of the virtue of white wimmen kind of sicken me, and it's damn hard for me to get past that. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 3:47:00 AM | Thursday, June 19, 2003
Rick Perry is a big, fat jerk Most of you, I am sure, recall the fuss recently in Texas over redistricting, but I'll give a rundown for them as ain't residents of Texas. The Republicans in the Lege proposed a new congressional redistricting map at the behest of Tom DeLay, one of the biggest suckers at the teat of corruption in the US Congress. Seems Mr. DeLay was concerned because so many Democrats were getting elected to Congress, and as we all know, that can only be because of EVIL on the part of them sneakin' Democrats, who are, by the way, UN-AMURRICAN. Our current district map was drawn up by a panel of Federal judges after the Lege was unable to agree upon a fair apportionment. While there are a few oddly-shaped districts in the current map, it's by and large a very fair one, and by no means the exercise in Gerrymandering that the new map displays. The Democrats in the House realized that they didn't have enough votes to stop the new proposal, so they simply left the state, preventing the Lege from reaching a quorum. Fast forward to yesterday, when Governor Rick Perry announced a special legislative session to address redistricting, with the facetious excuse that "the legislature is supposed to draw redistricting maps, not judges." I call bullshit - the judges did the redistricting after our elected representatives failed to do their job properly and draw up fair congressional districts. Here's what those of us in Texas need to do: (1) Contact Rick Perry and urge him to cancel the special session. (2) Contact your state representatives and make it clear to them that this is a lousy plan, and they will suffer in the next election if they approve it. (3) Write your local paper and express your discontent. (4) If you see Tom DeLay on the streets of your town, give him a huge wedgie. Remember to be polite, use proper grammar and spell everything correctly. Except when you're giving DeLay that wedgie, in which case anything goes. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:22:00 AM | Wednesday, June 18, 2003
Deobfuscating our business speak Deloitte and Touche have developed one of the most useful means of translating "business speak" I've seen. It's called Bullfighter, and it's free. Simply download the program and install it, and you're good to go. It runs in Microsoft Word and Power Point, and it will upon command go through a document and give you a "Bull Index". Check it out, and run some press releases through it. You'll be amazed. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 1:48:00 PM | It's about time World's unluckiest man wins lottery. The world's most accident-prone man has finally struck lucky — with a £600,000 lotto win. Ex-music teacher Frane Selak, 74, has survived SEVEN major accidents. He was sucked out of a plane when the rear door ripped open — but fell into a haystack. Nineteen others died. A train he was in plunged into a river, drowning 17. So did a bus, killing four. He has been knocked down by a coach and two cars he was driving have exploded. A third car plunged 300ft down a mountain, but he managed to jump out and landed in a tree. Now Frane has hit the jackpot in his native Croatia’s national lottery. The pensioner, divorced four times, said: "Life is just beginning." I'm hoping that he'll agree to list me as a beneficiary on his will, as long as he doesn't make me go on a trip with him... posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:14:00 AM | Tuesday, June 17, 2003
I Hate It Here That's the name of Spider Jerusalem's award-winning column for The Word, leading paper of The City, in Warren Ellis' brilliantly dark, sexy, posthuman comic book Transmetropolitan. Transmet is some of the best shit I've read in comics in years, easily ranking up at the top with Alan Moore's The Watchmen, Gaiman's Sandman and Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns. With an attitude as hip as The Invisibles, violence that shocks but doesn't scar, truly touching moments that rival Astro City and some deadly, wicked satire that will leave you bleeding on the floor, the comic traces the return of journalist Spider Jerusalem as he returns to The City after 5 years in The Mountains. He's out of money, and under contract to write two books. With Warren Ellis' writing and Darick Robertson's art, The City comes to life as a character itself. Genetically modified police dogs, alien/human transitionists, pimps, hookers, drug pushers and politicians wander the streets, and Spider spares none of them. He's been known to drive people to suicide over the phone, and when that doesn't work, he's got a bowel disruptor. It's a surprisingly positive future, for all its sick, bizarre, overcrowded mess. People are still people, whether they're wired up with cyberwear, made of clouds of nanoassemblers or unmodified human stock. Yes, cloned human meat is sold as a delicacy, and the City is generally too busy to care about its poorest denizens, but it's a vibrant society, no worse than ours in most respects, and some aspects, such as the Reservations (huge enclaves that house recreations of primitive cultures), it improves upon our ideals. I will resist the temptation to provide more spoilage, as some of you don't like to be spoiled. Suffice it to say that I think those of you that aren't already hip to Transmet should get to your Friendly Local Comic Shop with ALL DUE HASTE and pick up all of the anthologies currently out. Now, or I'll shoot you with the bowel disruptor, and I've got it set for "prolapse". posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:44:00 AM | Monday, June 16, 2003
I support America, Mom and Apple Pie. My opponent buggers goats. My friend Jeremy Nolen has a quick and dirty means of classifying people politically that he picked up from Jane Galt. It's not based upon party affiliation or core beliefs, but rather upon a person's view of the other side of whatever debate is current. Basically, it breaks down like this: Some people look at those on the other side and say, "I must respectfully disagree with my opponent, and these are the steps in my logic that lead me to disagree." Others, however, say, "I disagree with my opponent, because he rapes goats." The most blatant example of this is, of course, the Clinton impeachment fiasco, in which over $40,000,000 was spent to determine that, yes, presidents get blow jobs too. Dan Burton is perhaps the most obnoxious of the "Clinton Rapes Goats" crowd - he's based his last few reelection campaigns around standing up to some vague liberal conspiracy that wants revenge upon him for exposing the awful truths about the Clintons' crimes against humanity. Democrats, at least elected ones, seem to be less likely to tend towards accusations of capric buggering, although I'm sure there is some bias on my part. Unelected ones, however, can be a different story. I personally don't agree with most of Bush's domestic policies, and I find his administration's handling of some foreign policy issues to be rather hamfisted. This does not mean, however, that I am unwilling to critically examine new policy proposals and consider whether or not they might work. I'm willing to rationally examine them. It's part of being a thinking being, using your goddamn brain to walk the balance between keeping your mind so open that your brains fall out and keeping it locked up so tight it dies of oxygen starvation. I don't always live up to my own ideal, I'll admit, but I try. Still, some of you might be firing up to launch salvoes accusing me of hypocrisy and of inconsistency, to which I have two responses: (1) "A foolish consistency if the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today." - Ralph Waldo Emerson. (2) Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.) - Walt Whitman, "Song of My Self" posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:56:00 AM | Saturday, June 14, 2003
Busy, busy bee I've spent today painting my living room - the old paint was a flat latex, which meant that every single mark put on the walls by the children when they felt like indulging their inner vandals stayed there. The color (a pale yellow) had become somewhat washed out as well, so Melissa found a nice golden yellow to apply, and we got it in a satin finish, which means cleaning crayon should be somewhat easier. Some friends were going to come over and help, but due to a brainfart on my part, I neglected to confirm the date and time with them. This meant that I would, in fact, be doing the work myself. I was, at first, a little disappointed, but after I'd been working a while, I realized that I was enjoying myself. Melissa and Franny were at a birthday party most of the morning, so I was able to play my music (today's soundtrack: The Clumsy Lovers, Les Miserables and some Lyle Lovett) as loud as I wanted and to work at my own pace. I have completed exactly half the living room from ceiling to baseboard trim, and rearranged the furniture in a fashion that gives us considerably more playroom for the kids as well as gives me a corner to put my recliner for relaxing reading late at night. I figure I'll finish the living room tomorrow while Melissa and Franny are at church, and then I can spend the rest of the afternoon trying to get the hot tub working and maybe even taking a nap. Go me! posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 7:02:00 PM | Friday, June 13, 2003
FRIDAY 5 5 Things That Make Me Cranky (1) Junior Mints - Not the candies themselves, but rather the criminal lack of them in local movie theaters. (2) Poor spelling - if you've passed the 6th grade and have spoken English your entire life, you should have an understanding of how to spell. If for some reason you've missed out on that, you should know how to use a goddamn spell-checker. (3) People that get their political acumen from talk radio or other idiotically partisan venues - Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, IndyMedia.com, they're all geared towards dumbing down the issues and showing only one side. Think for yourself, articulate your ideas in your own words, or shut the fuck up. (4) People that get angry when they have to suffer for choices they have made - You make a bad choice, you pay the price. Don't whine to me about a speeding ticket - you were speeding, so you have to pay the fine. You get knocked up? Don't bitch about having to raise a child - condoms are free at your local public health clinic. (5) Yard work. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:28:00 AM | Thursday, June 12, 2003
TERRORIST CHICKEN Suicide-bomber chicken terrorizes New Zealand A POTENTIALLY explosive rooster had New Zealand police running around like headless chickens yesterday. The bird, which had canisters with protruding wires strapped to its wings, was spotted by a member of the public in the Christchurch suburb of Sydenham during the morning. Police were able to drop the bird before it was able to detonate itself. First the zombies, then the chicken with teeth, then Hamas-inspired chickens.... It's not like I haven't warned you guys. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 7:14:00 PM | Home again, home again... Back from my overnight trip to Atlanta, The Boy is with his grandparents for a week and I'm exhausted. I might get around to posting some impressions of my trip, but for the moment, I'll give you this piece of advice: Never, ever joke about body cavity searches when you're going through a security checkpoint at the airport. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 6:13:00 PM | Tuesday, June 10, 2003
Well, I'm off Tomorrow morning, Drew and I drive to Houston, then hop on a plane to Atlanta so Drew can spend a week with Gran and Grandy at their farm. I'll spend the night in Atlanta, getting a visit in with my grandparents and little brother, then fly back solo on Thursday to Houston for the drive back home. I'll try to send an update from the farm Thursday night, although I expect it'll be even more profanity-laden than usual, as they are still using a dialup internet connection. While I'm gone, feel free to make yourselves at home, but this place better be frickin' SPOTLESS when I get back. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 3:49:00 PM | Periodic Table of Science Fiction Michael Swanwick is writing a story per week about every element on the periodic table of the elements. It's here, and there's some darn good stuff there. My favorite is Phosphorus (P). posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:38:00 AM | Monday, June 09, 2003
Whacknoodle of the Week You've heard of "The Matrix". Yeah, right - a movie (with 1 sequel out and another on the way) that is a fast-paced cyberpunk gnostic parable. You'll be happy to know that one "M C Shampoo" (not making this one up, folks) has the skinny on The Matrix 4. No, it's not another sequel to the movie, nor is it a fan web site or film project. I pray to all the Dark Gods of the Internet that they make it one of these, but until Shub-Internet accepts my sacrifice of data, it will not be so. Sadly, this guy is serious. As if someone who calls himself "M C Shampoo" could be anything else, right? Let's let Mr. Shampoo speak for himself, shall we? The fact of the mater is that we are on a grid with about a 1.8' separation in width and height. Now; obviously it is not a subatomic grid, but it is routable by the reality administrators of Earth. The problem with it is that this Matrix that we live in called Earth (or "Matrix 4") is built for many people to live within (6 billion people or so, right?) so the grid is not on a subatomic level - it is of a lesser density for more efficient use of resources to handle more people. The name for the controllable grid of Earth, also known as "Matrix 4" is called Matrix 4 because of the number 4 being a large problem to the elite few within the high command of the grid when we were just starting out. Everyone beyond Earth almost always told us numerical figures that were heavily laced with the number 4. Things were in 4's such as: "4 of these" or "44 of those" or "4 trillion of that". To overcome this problem with the number 4, we made our entire entity based on the number 4. Why we adopted the name "matrix" for our regime, was because we saw a certain resemblance to the movie called "The Matrix". Oooo-kaaaaaaay. Someone's been sprinkling a little something extra on his cornflakes, I think.... The Matrix we live in on Earth is called "Matrix 4". It is not called simply "The Matrix". Matrix 4 people and members as listed above in my shoutout are able to have sex in their dreams, are able to have board room discussions while asleep, or simply sit under a shade tree and caress all night in love until the alarm clock goes off or until we wake up or have been awakened. We can taste, smell, see, hear, and feel a heightened state of reality in our sleep and even feel the wind in our hair. It is a peaceful thing. The "shoutouts", including myself, Shampoo, have a peaceful life. Contrary to the movie "The Matrix" we can not be killed while on Earth even with a machine gun.... believe me, as Shampoo, I know all too well of people shooting at me. :) Wow, that's really... well, it's really fucking insane. I'll skip over the descriptions of the "shoutouts" and their genitalia (Not joking, here. Read it for yourself if you're not weak of stomach), and move on to the seriously whacknoodle shit: Many people have seen UFO's or claim to have been abducted by aliens. These and other paranormal things like remote viewing and psychic abilities are programs of the people whom administrate the universe and to be even more specific the “Matrix-like” network of Earth. Some people whom have been control guided in their vehicles have been told that it is the CIA, NSA or British intelligence doing the guiding, when in fact it was the system operators of the Earth matrix. If you have ever received communication in your mind much like thought that is without a warm (microwave) feeling on your head, then you are not talking to any government on Earth or aliens in space - you are talking to people that administrate the reality generator of Earth. These people tell blatant lies and are often torturing people on Earth. It is inhumane. Aliens within the universe that we could observe with the hubble space telescope do not exist. The universe is absent of life of all forms except for on Earth. Military and Intelligence officials will also tell you that aliens do not exist (meanwhile they are probably thinking that they communicate with them via various numbers like 441 or 164 for “the greys” etc.). There is, in reality, no cover-up about alien life, because there is no alien life. The officials that administrate the universe probably told places like the Pentagon to keep the information they received secret or else there would be a war from aliens or something similar. I advise all people believing in aliens or people talking with aliens to start a war of defiance of the aforementioned lies and other lies and to understand that the reality operators of Earth are stating falseness that people in almost all cases would believe. The system operators do not want many people, or even one person for that matter to know of anything beyond the "big bang" or what created it. In reality, Earth matrix operators are racist, jealous and envious of human life, since humans on Earth have increased complex computational logic and are more superior than the system operators. Human life on Earth is programmed to be more complex than the reality it is based upon. UFO’s are simply holograms in the sky and are operating to convince people that there is more life than Earth in the universe and that we are not alone. This is done mainly for higher than Earth government reasons, to control society and for observation of highly knowledgeable and intelligent people. Gaaaaaaaah! Well, at least he's not screeching about the Reptoids... And he's an inventor, too. Check it out: There is a fruitful idea that I have invented which is an Internet sperm bank auction where people can see a photograph of the sperm seller as well as a photograph or possibly even several photographs of the offspring from the sperm provider (if he has any offspring). The client could then select and place a bid on any available sperm from any specific seller to receive a child that will look similar to what the sperm provider looks like and what the female purchaser looks like. This idea was invented by Shampoo. I have invented superior data compression that is vastly superior to any other data compression available on Earth. This data compression algorithm uses word or data set matching and backwards word or data set matching and much more: such as diagonal, forward and reverse word or data set matching - much like a crossword puzzle. This idea was invented by Shampoo. I have invented a combined chess and checkers board. This board will allow the playing of both games within the same board. This idea was invented by Shampoo. This last one here is the one that really knocks me out - I mean, a board upon which you can play both chess and checkers?!!! You mean, like the one I got at Wal-Mart with a full set of chess and checkers pieces for $9.97? The one that's composed of an 8x8 grid of squares in two colors? Someone stop the presses - M C Shampoo makes Edison and Tesla look like children! He's also invented a process for creating a rock inside a computer, a game that involves throwing a 10-pound weight (too much fun for me, I'm afraid), is revising the civil code in Canada regarding their versions of the "Miranda" warnings, and many other things too numerous to mention. Oddly enough, M C Shampoo tried to alert the Canadian intelligence services to his genius, and they hung up on him. Go figure. Here's hoping someone gets him his meds, and soon. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:41:00 AM | Friday, June 06, 2003
Poop projectors In the "weird things in nature" department, I came across this on the National Geographic website. Scat-Firing Caterpillars Elude Predators Several species of caterpillars have developed an interesting system for waste disposal; they fire their fecal pellets a distance of up to 40 times their body length away from their homes, at a speed of 4.2 feet (1.3 meters) per second. The equivalent distance for a 6-foot-tall (1.8 meter) human would be around 240 feet (73 meters). My favorite quote: Skipper butterfly caterpillars are able to fire frass pellets by pumping up blood pressure directly under an anal "launching pad" on which extruded fecal pellets rest. *snicker* "Anal launching pad". posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:03:00 AM | Thursday, June 05, 2003
Another friend enters the Blogosphere - Gautam Mukunda, an infuriatingly intelligent conservative. He's at Mukunda's Musings. His annoying persistence in his conservative ideals is ameliorated by the fact that he loves baseball, a character trait that overcomes many sins in my eyes. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:27:00 PM | Model citizen, are you? This site will determine if you're a model citizen, and if not, how much time you'd serve for every one of your infractions. I got 97 years, with a 7000 Pound fine on top of it. I'm a baaaaad boy, Abbott. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 6:32:00 AM | Wednesday, June 04, 2003
DON'T, YOU FOOLS! YOU'LL KILL US ALL! In my continuing effort to keep you aware of the dire threats facing humanity, I find that the scientists we trust to make our lives better have been arming our enemies. Chickens given teeth. Scientists in London have grown chicken embryos with teeth. Oh, you blind, blind fools. You think you're working to cure baldness, but I can see the sad results now - hordes of chickens, armed with razor-sharp teeth, roaming the highways and byways of the UK like packs of feathered piranhas... I will, out of pity for our doomed British cousins, refrain from the otherwise obligatory jokes comparing their dentistry with that of these terror chickens. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 2:01:00 PM | Tuesday, June 03, 2003
My hero DIY Cruise Missile This guy in New Zealand is building a cruise missile in his garage, using locally-available materials and over-the-counter electronics. This is so frickin' COOL!! posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:47:00 AM | First the zombies, now this... I've already alerted you, my failthful readers, to this threat to humanity. Now, from Russia, we find that our enemies are not just the recently-deceased, but also our cousins on the evolutionary tree. Homeless monkey arrested in Russia A monkey has reportedly been arrested as a tramp in Russia after joining a group of homeless people. Gosha, a macaque, was bought by a rich family in Biysk, eastern Siberia, but was kicked out of their home after becoming uncontrollable, IMA-Press reported. The monkey lived on the streets for months and was befriended by a group of homeless people. Police arrested him after a raid on house where homeless people were squatting. Police officials said they would settle Gosha in Novosibirsk Zoo because it was too expensive to "extradite" him back to Africa. This is obviously part of some massive conspiracy to assault humanity from all sides. OK, let's go over the important stuff: (1) Zombies can only be taken down by head shots or by dismemberment with a chainsaw. (2) Monkeys can be distracted by 2 stratagems: large amounts of bananas or by folks dressing up as really attractive female monkeys. Once the monkey is distracted, put it in a box and ship it to the offices of any of the following: Trent Lott, Dick Cheney, Al Sharpton or Jerry Falwell. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 7:58:00 AM | Monday, June 02, 2003
Your tax dollars at work - in a good way Eric Rudolph in custody A rookie cop in Murphy, NC captured Right Wing Terrorist Eric Rudolph, responsible for several bombings in Atlanta and Birmingham that killed 2 and injured dozens. Not being terribly pro-life, I'm looking forward to Rudolph getting a nice long period as some guy's bitch in prison, followed by a quick execution. We can hope that the Feds are able to figure out who's been giving him shelter for the last 6 years or so, so they can get some "bitch time" too." posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:26:00 AM | |
