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Saturday, July 31, 2004
On the road Because I haven't driven enough of late... Meeting my father in Slidell, LA to pick up my son, then we'll drive back tomorrow. If I time it just right, I'll be able to enjoy some cajun food in Lake Charles for lunch both ways. | Friday, July 30, 2004
A Late In The Day Friday Five From Mojave 66: What are the five things you think that humanity needs in order to survive and evolve into a peaceful civilization? "Things" could mean a philosophy, a technology, a spiritual perspective, a type of government... anything. Nice and vague, but complex enough to make me think. DAMN YOUR BLACK HEART, MOJO!!! I'm not entirely sure we should evolve into a peaceful civilization. You never know what's out there, after all. While we by no means should be Spartan, jackboot-slobbering warriors, it's important to remember that one of the things that helped our species become something other than Hyena-bait was our capacity for sudden, irrational and united violence in the face of danger. So I'll look at it in terms of "more peaceful". (1) Resources - there should be enough for all, but not so much that there is no incentive to compete, invent, innovate and change. Luxury goods are a wonderful incentive for folks to try to pull themselves up higher. (2) Philosophy - one that recognizes both the need for a fair starting chance for everyone and our innate status as hierarchy-seeking animals. One that acknowledges the need for change but balances that with reasoned skepticism. (3) Education - Skepticism, lateral thinking and an understanding of the need for occasional bursts of sudden, irrational and united violence in the face of danger, as well as some guidelines on appropriate times and places for the same. (4) Freedom - Freedom of conscience, of- or from- religion, freedom of thought and speech. An grasp of the importance of "otherness". (5) Travel - exposure to different cultures and climes, easy border crossings. Additional knowledge of other languages would be nice, as well. That said, I don't know that it's a likely goal. We're monkeys, and we're always going to try to pull ourselves up higher in the troop. We'll always have our insatiable curiosity that makes us push the wrong button, poke sticks into hornet nests and throw rocks at sleeping lions "just to see what happens". Overall, we'll see fractional improvements, slips backwards, additional improvements and, I hope, a whole lot of stops with the tips of our toes dangling over the precipice. The other Friday Fivers are listed to the left. | Thursday, July 29, 2004
Who's Making More Money? Not the workers. The IRS has reported that average incomes have, as of 2002 (the latest available data) dropped. I personally haven't seen a raise since 2001, and it was a piss-poor one then. So who's making all the money? Executives. Specifically CEOs. Annual increases in CEO compensation rose, on average, 22.18% in 2003. Much of this was in stock options and sales of restricted stock, but it also factors in increases in base pay, annual bonuses and long-term incentive payouts. The executives of Apple, Oracle and Colgate-Palmolive, among others, saw their pay increased over 1000%. In 2003, the AVERAGE CEO got around $9.2 MILLION in compensation. The average worker, on the other hand, made $33,252.09 in 2002 (the latest data I was able to find). Joe CEO, a dead-average CEO, makes over 276 times what Jane Lunchbucket does. Add in outplacement, the Bush Administration's war on overtime pay, rising healthcare costs and diminishing insurance coverage, and it's no wonder the American worker feels squeezed. But, as the Simp Chimp's handlers tell us, if you're unhappy with your job situation, there's always Prozac. | Wonder if these articles are true? From Capitol Hill Blue, take with a grain of salt. From yesterday: Bush Using Drugs to Control Depression, Erratic Behavior: President George W. Bush is taking powerful anti-depressant drugs to control his erratic behavior, depression and paranoia, Capitol Hill Blue has learned. And from today: Sullen, Depressed President Retreats Into Private, Paranoid World White House aides say Bush has retreated into a tightly-controlled environment where only top political advisors like Karl Rove and Karen Hughes are allowed. Even White House chief of staff Andrew Card complains he has less and less access to the President. So we'll keep watching for more info on this. | Those Damn Libruls the U.S. military faces growing problems in readiness, morale, and its ability to prepare for the threats of the future. the current administration has casually sent American armed forces on dozens of missions without clear goals, realizable objectives, favorable rules of engagement, or defined exit strategies. a shrunken American military has been run ragged by a deployment tempo that has eroded its military readiness. Many units have seen their operational requirements increased four-fold, wearing out both people and equipment. The arrogance, inconsistency, and unreliability of the administration’s diplomacy have undermined American alliances, alienated friends, and emboldened our adversaries. Where'd I get these quotes? Not from the Center for American Progress, or Michael Moore, or even from John Kerry's website. Nope, these are from the GOP platform in 2000. Everything they accuse Clinton of here, they've done tenfold. Mission accomplished! | Oh, this is SO. FUCKING. SWEET! Batman Begins. Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne, Gary Oldman as Commissioner Gordon - if this is as good as it looks, it'll wash the taste of everything Shumacher did to the Batman franchise right out of my mouth. | Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Another stupid internet quiz Ganked from Marvin What's on your bedside table? A telephone, my old scratched glasses, 6-7 novels and anthologies (some read, some unread) and 3 RPG sourcebooks. What is the geekiest part of your music collection? Either the "Irish Songs of Rebellion" CD or my copy of "The Secret Policeman's Other Ball". What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night? Beer, ice cream, cheese toast, leftovers. Nothing beats a leftover meatloaf sammich on homemade buttermilk bread with a wee dab of hot chinese mustard and a little goat cheese. What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie? "Old Yeller". Do you have a completely irrational fear? Clowns. Spiders. Spiders dressed like clowns. Clowns carrying spiders. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moment? I get this little twitchy thing going. I tend towards a nervous sweat when I'm speaking in public. Do you ever have to beg? To get the children to sleep? Yes. Are you a pyromaniac? I wouldn't say I'm a "maniac", but there is a certain delight to blowing shit up real good. Do you have too many love interests? No. Do you know anyone famous? I know some people that are well-known in certain circles, but no one you could rightly call "famous" in the Ben Affleck or Jimmy Carter sense of being instantly recognizable. Describe your bed. King size, Sleeping Place of Choice for all residents of our house, which means it can get somewhat crowded after about 2-3AM some nights. Spontaneous or plan? Spontaneous. Who should play you in a movie about your life? I've been accused of looking like Kenneth Branagh, so going on physical appearance, him. I think Jack Black would fit my personality more. Do you know how to play poker? Yes. What do you carry with you at all times? Books. At least one, maybe more. How do you drive? Carefully, after my last speeding ticket. Before that, relatively carefully, but not carefully enough. What do you miss most about being little? 25-cent comic books and 15-cent candy bars. Are you happy with your given name? Yep. How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year? To quote Chico Marx, "You couldn't afford it." Enough to keep me in books and movies for a year, I think. What color is your bedroom? Off-white. One of these days, we'll get around to painting it. What was the last song you were listening to? "San Francisco" by the Village People. Have you ever been in a play? Yeah. I majored in theater - how could I avoid it? Who are your best friends? Melissa, the folks in my gaming group, Will and Merideth. Have you ever been in love? Yes, and I still am. It's a Good Thing. Do you talk a lot? Not by my standards, but other people think so (when they can get a word in edgewise). Do you like yourself and believe in yourself? Yes. Generally. Have you ever done any illegal drugs? Yes. Do you think you're cute? Yes. Do poor, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you? Not as a general rule. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person? More or less, though I have a tendency to be snarky. Do you spend more time with your girlfriend, boyfriend, or your friends? With my wife. What is your ideal marriage location? For Melissa and me, it wasn't getting married that mattered so much as being married. Drove Melissa crazy, because she kept trying to involve me in the decision-making process and all I would say was, "Yeah, shure, that's fine. Whatever you think is best." Almost got me killed, if that wouldn't have messed up the wedding. Which musical instrument do you wish you could play? The banjo. Or the theramin. Favorite fabric? Cotton. Does leather count as a fabric? What kind of bedding do you use? Cotton or flannel, depending on the season. What kind of soap do you use? Idunno, soap-scented soap. What's the one language you want to learn? Urdu. 'Cause I like the name. How do you eat an apple? I take a bite, develop Forbidden Knowledge of Good and Evil, then blame The Woman. Jehovah always throws me out before I can get Eternal Life. What do you order at a bar? Beer. Shiner Bock, if possible. Have you ever pierced your body parts? My earlobe. Does my eardrum count? A doctor did that. Do you have tattoos? Not yet. Would you ever admit to having done plastic surgery of any kind if confronted? Yes. Unless it was embarassing, like hair implants (which I won't get anyway). What's one of the "funniest" things you've ever done? "Funny"="Ha Ha" or "Funny"="Weird"? "Ha Ha" - Duct-taped a guy to the ceiling while he slept once in college. "Weird" - Shaved my eyebrows off. Do you drive stick? Is that some kind of sex code? 'Cause while I am bi, I'm also in a monogamous relationship, so I don't right now. I guess in theo- Oh. No, my car has an automatic transmission. What's one trait you hate in a person? Assholery. Assholitude. Assness. Whatever term you want to use. What kind of watch(es) do you wear? Whatever the cheapest analog Timex is at the store. Most frivolous purchase? The $5 web cam I picked up last month. Piece. Of. Shit. Do you consider yourself materialistic? Yes. What do you cook the best? Buttermilk biscuits. BBQ, too. Favorite writing instrument? Bic roller pens, 5mm tip, black ink. The computer runs a close second. Do you prefer to stand out or blend in? Stand out. Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex? Did it in college once. The hose rode up on me something awful. Don't think I'd do it again, since I'd have to shave my beard. What's one car you will never buy? Any SUV. Especially a Cadillac or Lexus SUV - that's just asking for people like me to make fun of you. What kind of books do you like to read? History, science, SF, fantasy, swashbucklers, politics - really anything except schmoopy romance. If you won the lottery, what would you do first? Pay bills. Burial or cremation? Cremation. Because I'm going to insist that someone track down people on my Shit List after I die and throw ashes in their faces, saying, "Hey, motherfucker! Adma gets the last goddamn word! Eat this!" How many online journals do you read regularly? 9-10. What's one thing you're a sore loser at? Trivial Pursuit. If you don't like a person, how do you show it? Sarcasm, but sometimes, if I really don't like them, I just get really nice. Until I stab 'em in the back. Do you cry in front of friends? I've done it before. I'm secure in my Manly Status that way. What kind of first impression do you think you give to people? Loud, overconfident, occasionally funny in a manic kind of way. What's one thing you like to do alone? Read. What's the worst thing you ever said to someone? It's kind of hard to narrow that down. When's the last time you cried? Last week, at my parents' house. Favorite communication method? Talking. Talkingtalkingtalkingtalking. What is one thing you don't leave home without? Books. And clean underwear, 'cause they won't let you into the hospital if you don't have some. What's the most painful experience you've ever had? Phsyically: Breaking my leg in 2nd grade. I could feel the bones grating against each other. Emotionally: When Melissa had a miscarriage. Can you type with your eyes closed? Yes, but there will be errors. Can you ski? If by "ski" you mean "Fall down a hill at about 900 MPH", I'm pretty sure I could do that. If you want a controlled descent, no. Can you speak in sign language? Does "Fuck off cheese dick milkshake yes bitch" count? Can you do the butterfly stroke? I don't know. Is that another sex thing, or is it about driving my car? Can you say the alphabet backwards effortlessly? Yes. Can you tie a knot in a cherry stem with your tongue? Yes. Can you run a mile in under ten minutes? Depends on what's chasing me. Can you stand the sight of blood? I can stand it, but I do tend towards wigging out if it's Melissa's or one of my kids' blood. Can you read palms or tarot cards? Tarot cards, but it takes a while. Can you admit it when you're wrong? Yes. Eventually. Can you ask for help when you need it? Yes. Eventually. Can you tie a necktie? Yes. Can you successfully pierce someone's ear? Yes. Can you play soccer? Yes. In a lumbering, stop-halfway-down-the-field-and-have-a-beer-and-a-smoke kind of way. Can you sing? Yes. Not well, but I can sing. Can you name three kinds of clouds? Yes. But God says I can't tell you their names. Can you make a joke out of anything? Yes. Can you perform CPR on another human? Yes. Do you know what CPR stands for? Yes. Can you read minds? No, and neither can anyone else. Can you write better poetry than Shakespeare? No. Can you speak more than one language? I can order vodka in Russian and then start a bar fight. Does that count? Do you know karate? And several other Japanese words. Ba-DUMP! Can you freestyle? Another sex question? What is it with these people? | But what are the Conservatives saying? Charley Reese on Bush: I have sadly come to the conclusion that President Bush is merely a frontman, an empty suit, who is manipulated by the people in his administration. Bush has the most dangerously simplistic view of the world of any president in my memory. Ganked from Mick at Omnium | Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Barack Obama Could be our nation's first African-American president. The man can give a speech, and I knew he was smart when I read about his career to date (they don't graduate dummies from Harvard Law, although Harvard Business School graduated at least one big one). I wonder which | Thoughts on John Kerry I'll be up front - I was a Dean supporter during the primaries. John Kerry struck me as the DNC's favored candidate, and not terribly riveting. He started winning, though, coming from behind and clinching the nomination in record time. Once he'd done that, I knew that it was vital that we present a united front in supporting him. Kerry's suffered the usual attacks from I don't care what John Kerry looks like, and it doesn't matter to me how much money he has, or if he speaks French. What matters to me is that (a) he's going to beat the Simp Chimp and (b) his policies (both proposed and historical). Thomas Oliphant has known Kerry for decades, and has a lot to say about his character. Let's review his history: The grandson of a Czech immigrant. Volunteered for the Navy in Vietnam, then volunteered for Swift Boat service, one of the most hazardous duties in the Vietnamese theater of operations. Wounded 3 times, with 3 Purple Hearts to show for it. Earned a Silver Star and a Bronze Star. Upon returning from Vietnam, he was outspoken in his opposition to the war, based upon his experiences and those of his fellow soldiers and sailors. He was a spokesman for Vietnam Veterans Against the War, then co-founded Vietnam Veterans of America. Ran for Congress in 1972 and lost, went to law school and became a prosecuting attorney, targeting organized crime and pushing for victims' rights and counseling for victims of rape. Elected Lieutenant Governor of Massachusetts in 1982. Elected to the US Senate in 1984, serving in his 4th term. He's served on Senate Foreign Relations Committee for 19 years. Yeah, yeah, I know, Faux News says he's a "flip-flopper" and that he's "out of the mainstream". Shall we take a look at a few of his "out of the mainstream" ideas? (1) Rebuilding international alliances - seems pretty logical. If we're fighting a war on terror worldwide, it'd only make sense to work with other governments to fight it effectively, right? (2) Modernize the military - Whoa! Give our troops the best training and tools we can to allow them to fight effectively? Seriously whackaloon, it isn't. (3) Use diplomacy, trade, money, moral pressure and the military to accomplish our goals - another plain idea, that seemed to work well for all the other American presidents except the current. (4) Develop an energy policy geared towards lessening or removing our dependence on foreign oil - This one's so mainstream it made me yawn. I mean, I've heard this from everyone from the mailman to the bagger at my grocery store. (5) Cutting middle-class taxes - if you think this is out of the mainstream, you need to go see a shrink. (6) Cutting the deficit and shrinking the budget - After 4 years of the Republicans spending money like a drunken sailor on shore leave, this ought to be a breath of fresh air. (7) Government coverage of catastrophic health-care claims, reducing costs for insurance companies and providing more widespread health coverage for all Americans - He figures he can pay for this by rolling back Bush's tax cuts for the wealthy. No new taxes, just a return to the sane tax and budget policies of the Clinton years. (8)Expand after-school programs to give children opportunities that are safer and more learning-oriented than a latchkey existence or wandering the streets - Another common-sense program with solid centrist values. In the past, he's worked with John McCain to resolve POW issues and to normalize relations with Vietnam. He's been an advocate for affordable housing for all Americans. Sometimes, he's studied a situation, reflected upon it and come to a different conclusion than he originally held. That's not flip-flopping, that's wisdom and strength of character. So while I wish Kerry would be more outspoken in support of issues like Gay Rights, and I don't agree with his positions on forfeiture laws, he's certainly a candidate I can wholeheartedly support. And Nader's still a poopy-head. | Interesting links The 9/11 Commission's report, in HTML for E-Z linkage and searching Speeches from the DNC last night: Al Gore Jimmy Carter Bill Clinton | Monday, July 26, 2004
Watching the DNC Bill Clinton's speaking right now, and it's damn nice to hear the Big Dog bark again. Hoping to catch Carter's and Gore's speeches on replay later. Tomorrow night, Barack Obama. | I had a doppleganger! While visiting my parents', I went to the local Salvation Army to look for clothes. I found a large number of pants and shirts in my size, and felt like I'd lucked out. Looking over the bookshelves, I found a big collection of hardback SF, and at $0.50 per book, I knew I'd hit the jackpot. Somewhere in the Manchester, GA area, I had a Secret Twin that had my taste in clothing and books. Melissa prefers to think that my Secret Twin lost a bunch of weight and moved out of town, but I my theory is that my twin died, his family donated all his stuff to the Salvation Army. I don't know how he died, but I'm sure it was supposed to be me instead of him. Rest In Peace, Secret Twin. You took a bullet meant for me, and as a bonus, I got all your shit. Thanks! | Sunday, July 25, 2004
Hah! Numbah One Google result for postmodern llama superman cheese in Canada. So does this mean I've hit the big time, or just in Canada? Eh? | Ralph Nader - Bad For America His supporters aren't much better. In Arizona, Nader threw a hissy fit when Democrats had the audacity to question the heavy support he got from the Republican Party there. In Oregon, a pro-Bush group has been active in giving Nader financial support and publicity. Now we find that in Michigan, Nader turned in 5400 signatures to get on the November ballot there. That's 24,600 short of the required number. Guess where he got another 43,000? I'll cut some slack for the naive folks that voted for him in 2000 (although I can assure you that only the naive fell for the "there's not a dime's worth of difference" bullshit), but anyone voting Nader in 2004 is either terminally deluded or flat-out stupid. There's only one candidate with a prayer of beating the Simp Chimp, and it sure as shit ain't a megalomaniac, delusional little tool like Nader. | Saturday, July 24, 2004
The nice thing about vacation Is how you can stop reading the newspaper and following the news without feeling guilty. The bad thing is having to catch up on everything when you get back. | | | Friday, July 23, 2004
Friday 5 From the mysterious and deadly Mojave 66: What were your five favorite classes in College (or in the highest educational institution you completed), and why? I come back from vacation, an' I gotta think an' alla dat? Yeesh! Classical Myth - An in-depth study of classical Greek myth, taught by an ex-Jesuit with a very dry sense of humor. I spent a long afternoon after class one day discussing Campbell, Graves and Jaynes with the professor, and learned more in that afternoon than I learned the rest of the semester. Lighting Design - Junior year, taught by Karen Drews. Karen could do amazing things with ellipsoidals, washes and backlights, and she taught me a little of what she could do. When I was still doing theater, I derived the most satisfaction from designing lights. Intro to Theater - Taught by Dr. Berg, a South African emigre that threw things at you if you fell asleep in class. I couldn't help but stay awake, and that got me hooked on theater, which is how I met Melissa. Thanks, Dr. Berg! Set Construction and Shop Safety - I taught this one while I worked at UAB. I got to yell at people, stand around and drink coffee and tell hair-raising tales of mayhem and mutilation to innocent young nursing students. Sweeeeeet. History 101 - I didn't enjoy this class. It was taught by a droning, emotionless old man in a stuffy classroom right after lunch, and the professor was able to suck every bit of interest out of even the most exciting historical information. This convinced me that I shouldn't major in Political Science or History, which is how I wound up taking Intro to Theater, as mentioned above. More info on the trip, along with some pictures, in a bit. | Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Regarding the large expanses of white space on this blog of late I'm futzing with the settings as I type, so with any luck, they'll go away. | Homeward Bound Made it to Anniston, AL. We're staying with our friends Gina and Teresa, catching up some more on their doings. Tomorrow, it's back to Baton Rouge and then on Friday we get back to Austin. It was a good trip home to the farm, although it was a little sad. My parents have put their property up for sale, and I spent a good portion of my time saying goodbye to the land. I don't know that I can really articulate this, but the farm has been home for me since 1980. No matter where else I've lived, I've known that there's pine forests, red clay and a big old house that I could come back to. Now, I'm having to let go of that certainty. Acknowledgement of my parents' mortality factors in too, I'm sure. I'll muddle through, and as existential crieses go, it's a comparatively minor one, but it'll take me some time. | Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Long day yesterday Drove up to Atlanta yesterday - got in a visit with my grandparents at their retirement home in the morning, then, after a picnic lunch in my old neighborhood, went to the Fernbank Natural History Museum with the kids. As predicted, they plotzed when they saw the reconstructions of the argenteniosaurus and gigantosaurus in the center of the building. Lots of fun. I had an early dinner with an online friend at a neighborhood bar, and got to chat with Mary Squires, a Democrat running for the US Senate in Georgia as she canvassed for votes. Good, old-fashioned politicking - one-on-one, open, friendly, straightforward. Plus, I hear she gave Sonny "Shithead" Purdue, the governor of Georgia, a good telling-off once. I wish her luck in today's primary. | Sunday, July 18, 2004
Friday 5 - ON SUNDAY! Trying to keep up here... I notice that this Friday 5 is mine: You've been caught with your hand in the cookie jar. Busted. Stone-cold caught and about to get the smackdown you deserve. What 5 things would you say to dodge the bullet? Granted, this has never, EVER happened to me, because I'm such a law-abidin' type o' guy. Honest. Still, in the interest of fair play, I'd try one or more of the following: (1) What hand? What cookies? What jar? (2) Oh my GOD! Am I sleep-walking again? (3) Don't you DARE accuse me! I mean, how can you have the GALL to even SUGGEST that I'm doing something? (4) It's not what it looks like. (5) ::screams in pain, falls to floor:: AAAAIIIEEEE!!! IT BURNS THE FLESH!!!! CALL A DOCTOR!!!!! The other Friday Fivers are listed to the left. Sorry for the delay. | Saturday, July 17, 2004
A nice little baptism It was raining, so plan A, a baptism at the creek, was Right Out. Instead, we sat on the porch. My parents, the in-laws, the Garcias and a few family friends were there. Drew read a piece from Clarence Jordan's "Cottonpatch Gospel" and Franny held the enameled steel dipper holding creek water. My father used a peanut shell to dip water to pour on Alec's head, just like Will Campbell did when I was baptized. I'm not what you call a spiritual man, but it was a nice little service. Still using dialup, but I'm hoping I can get some high-speed access later this week. | Friday, July 16, 2004
Arrived Made it to the farm about 6PM EDT - we spent the night last night in Baton Rouge and did the rest of the trip today. Good to be back at my parents' farm - they finally got AC for the house this summer, which makes summers here much more appealing. Getting ready for Alec's baptism tomorrow - old family friends ar here, as well as my baby brother (all 6'4" of him). More updates later, as I'm on dialup. | Thursday, July 15, 2004
On The Road Not as groovily as, say, Jack Kerouac, but still. On the road. I'll be updating sporadically for the next week or so - I'll try to make audioblog updates where possible. You guys be cool. | Wednesday, July 14, 2004
| John McCain on the Hate Amendment "The constitutional amendment we're debating today strikes me as antithetical in every way to the core philosophy of Republicans," McCain said. "It usurps from the states a fundamental authority they have always possessed and imposes a federal remedy for a problem that most states do not believe confronts them." More on this at CNN.com Two things are immediately obvious. (1) There aren't enough votes for this to have a prayer of moving forward. Even many Senators that oppose equal marriage rights for all Americans think amending the Constitution to enshrine homophobia as the Law Of The Land is a very bad idea. (2) This is sleazy politics at its worst. Debate the real issues? Can't have that. No, we need to invent a crisis and get everyone wigged out about something that won't really hurt them at all. You'll pardon my paranoia, but as a member of the GLBT community, I really do worry that we and those that support us might get the same treatment the Kulaks got. I have no doubt that our nation could survive even another four years of misrule, sleaze and corruption under Bush, but I don't think that we should have to. Let's get rid of him and his gang of Stalinist goons, and do it now. | Miscellaneous Links Taking a break from the last few days of righteous anger to post some random links. (1) UK scientists invent nonometer-thick waterproof coating. - “Now we can coat even the most complex-shaped objects whatever they’re made of – practically any material including textiles, plastics, glass, metal and wood will benefit – and in the case of textiles, they retain their durability and breathability." (2) Build your own kegerator. Mmmm, beeeeeeeer. (3) "If simply being against the Church means that you're somehow "in" on the conspiracy, then the song "Catholic Girls" from Joe's Garage makes Frank Zappa one of the Illuminati. (As everyone knows, it's Apostrophe/Overnight Sensation that clearly links Zappa to the shadowy puppet masters who control human destiny.)" It's actually light on Zappa, heavy on the debunking of conspiracy theories. But that's a great quote. Your regular spittle-flecked, profanity-filled rants will continue later today. | Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Texas Tuesdays Once again, Texas Tuesdays focuses on a Good Candidate that needs our help. This week, it's Jeanette Popp. Shannon Sizemore writes this about her: Jeanette is not just a politician making social commentary. She has personally suffered great tragedy and believes it may have been avoided if only there had been some sort of action to prevent what she refers to as "the domino effect." Follow the link to more information about Jeanette, including how to donate to her campaign. | Entered without comment 'Cause my hands are shaking with rage. Cache of child porn found at Roman Catholic seminary in Vienna. Bishop Kurt Krenn dismissed the kiddie porn as "a childish prank". A childish prank. No comment. What can you say to that? | Monday, July 12, 2004
Groovy New Shirt Dissent is a fundamental American value. Buy a shirt and give me some comic book money. | Someone gimme $250,000 NOW! Why? Because I need to get to eBay and bid on THIS! 2 Copies of Amazing Fantasy 15 (both low grade unfortunately) 3 copies of Amazing Spider-man 1 5 copies of Uncanny X-men 1 3 copies each of Hulk 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 (except there are 4 copies of issue 2 and only 2 copies of issue 6) Fantastic Four 1 2 copies of Fantastic Four 5 (1st Doctor Doom) 5 copies of Fantastic Four 48 (1st Galactus and Silver Surfer) 3 copies of Tales of Suspense 39 (1st Iron Man) 2 copies of Journey Into Mystery 83 (1st Thor) Showcase 4 (1st Silver age comic, first Silver age Flash) Daredevil 1 Avengers 1 2 copies of Avengers 4 (1st Silver age Captain America) Justice League of America 1 Action Comics 252 (1st Supergirl) multiple copies of Iron Man 1 and Captain America 100. More importantly though, this collection contains almost every Silver age marvel comic ever published!! This collection contains FULL RUNS (from issue 1 to the end with no missing issues) of Amazing Spider-man, Uncanny X-men, Fantastic Four, Incredible Hulk, Avengers, Daredevil, Captain America, Thor, and Iron Man! The collection also contains incomplete runs of Tales of Suspense, Tales to Astonish, Journey into Mystery, and several other titles. ::drools helplessly at computer monitor:: | The Bugfucker is going DOWN, baby! According to the Washington Post, which got its hands on some emails sent by Kenny-Boy Lay, Tom "Bugfucker" DeLay solicited donations from Enron specifically for use in his efforts to gerrymander Texas congressional districts. Washington Post, use "bigwig@bigwig.com/bigwig" for login/password Now, Texas law specifically prohibits, and has for the past 100 years or so, the use of corporate money in state legislative elections. That's why Ronnie Earle is investigating the Bugfucker. Some claim Earle's being partison, but the figures don't add up - Earle has, since he became head of Texas' Public Integrity Unit, prosecuted 4 elected Republicans and 12 elected Democrats for corruption. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up, but DAMN, it'd be sweet if that corrupt sleazebag got some goddamn jail time. | God-DAMMIT, I loathe those fuckers Okay, so let's run through the latest additions to my litany of rage: (1) The Simp Chimp will be the first president since Herbert Hoover to refuse to speak at the NAACP Convention. Why? The little titty-baby got his feelings hurt because they said mean things about him. (2) The misAdministration is snubbing the World AIDS Conference in Thailand. Despite overwhelming scientific evidence that abstinence programs Just. Don't. Work., the fundie loons in the misAdministration think that telling poor people not to have sex will get rid of AIDS. That's soooo much more logical than, say, giving them condoms and making AIDS drugs more affordable. (3) Rethuglicans are debating the Hate Amendment in the Senate today. John (4) Administration Counterterrorism Officals are making plans to cancel the November election, "just in case". Like so many other things, this seems to me to be a little too coincidental, considering we've received no real information save that Tom "Chicken Little" Ridge says Al-Quaeda hates us and might be planning an attack. Those're the big ones as we start the week, but I'm sure the ratbastards'll give me more to work with soon enough. They always do. | Sunday, July 11, 2004
Shakin' hands with Abraham Lincoln Need a new euphemism? Wanna make sure everyone knows what you're sayin' without having to come right out and say it? Try the Euphemism Generator! Alone once again, she retired to the bedroom and began slapping the tiny screaming cave. She seemed like a shy girl when they met, but a few drinks later, they were smurfing the client-server statue. This is not an appropriate place for walking on the plant. | Saturday, July 10, 2004
Gallon of milk, loaf of bread, dozen eggs and some mortification to go, please! The big kids got bundled off to bed with a minimum of screeching and calls of "Goodnight, LOSERS!" by Franny. Alec was acting rather perky, so I took him with me to the grocery store. A rather uneventful trip, save for the very end. It's Saturday night, so they were busy restocking - lots of boxes in the center of each aisle, stuff like that - and I was easing the cart through frozen foods around a small stack of boxes. The corner of the cart bumped an 8' tall shelf unit full of bottles of wine and they all started rocking and tipping over. 3 bottles fell, only one of which broke, but it sprayed cheap Merlot all over me and Alec and the groceries. Sadly for my pride, there were about 7-8 other people in the aisle, so when they heard the CRRRAAAASSSSSHHHHH!!!!, they all looked directly at me, and Radio Station K-FUCK started broadcasting in my head. "Way to go, genius!" "Smoooooth operater, aincha?" "Mazeltov!" Nothing like the feeling of being a total klutz in public, I gotta tell you. At that point, my only goal became getting out of the store ASAFP. I found an employee, told them what had happened and offered to pay for the bottle of wine that broke, which they were kind enough to assure me could be marked off as breakage and not to worry about it, then haul myself, Alec and a cart full of wine-soaked groceries to the checkout lane, pay and get out. I could feel the eyes of everyone in the store on me, it felt like, and the bagger wiped all the groceries down with a paper towel before putting them in the cart. This kindness actually made it worse for me, as I felt like there was silent reproach oozing from everyone around me and the longer I stood there, the more sure I was that I'd be hearing someone mutter, "What kind of father recklessly endangers his baby like that?" or something along those lines. Think I'll let Melissa do the next couple of trips to the store instead of me. | Orrin Hatch, Enemy Of The People I don't think there's an elected representative out there that You may recall that last year, Hatch proposed legislation that would make it legal to hack into and destroy remotely the hard drives of those illegally possessing copyrighted material, then changed his mind when it turned out his web site was being run on pirated software. Now he's proposed legislation that would hold companies that make MP3 players and other digital music devices liable for downloading of copyrighted material. Hatch isn't alone - Patrick Leahy, Barbara Boxer and Bill Frist are also The recording industry is doing nothing more than rearranging the deck chairs on the sinking Titanic. If they want copyright laws to last in the long-term, they need to find a new paradigm. | Friday, July 09, 2004
Please return your tinfoil beanie to its proper, skull-covering orientation In an announcement chock-full of surprise and amazing timing, the Pentagon announced that military pay records that could decisively prove whether George W. Bush completed his obligation to the Texas National Guard were accidentally destroyed. Well you can just knock me over with a feather! [clutches pearls] This happened in 1996 or 1997, about the time that there was a rumored purge of Bush's records in Texas. I'm not normally one to jump straight through the "conspiracy" door, but this is the sort of thing that, just a few short years ago, necessitated a special prosecutor and years of congressional hearings. I'm not holding my breath this time. | Mission Accomplished! New intel shows Iraqi insurgents more numerous, less foreign influence than previously declared. We were told there were only 5000 or so insurgents in Iraq, and that a good number of them were foreigners intent upon destabilizing Iraq. New estimates indicate there's upwards of 20,000, including part-time members, and that they are almost entirely native Iraqis. We were told that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi was an Osama-like mastermind. Now we hear that many of the attacks we blame him for were committed by others with no connection to him. I don't need to repeat the continuing assertions that there are WMDs (choose one: in Iraq, they were moved to Syria, they went to Iran, they're in John Kerry's garage), or that Al-Quaeda worked with Saddam. Yes, Saddam Hussein was a Bad Person - there's no disputing that, but if our intent was to remove him from power, there was absolutely no reason to rush in without garnering wider support internationally, without planning, without preparing and without an exit strategy. So tell me again why we're there now, and how we're going to get out, Mr. President. | Friday 5 One morning you wake up and discover that whatever it was that bit, irradiated, or otherwise made contact with you yesterday has transformed you into a muscle-bound freak with a penchant for spandex leotards. What do you say to your spouse/significant other, your boss, your best friend, your parents, your first ass-whuppee - from Marvin. A muscle-bound freak with a penchant for spandex leotards, eh? I've been worse. I'll assume the usual range of additional powers - flight, invulnerability, radioactive weasel vision, badger sense and Good Hair. (1) To Melissa: Check it out! Look what I can do to this steel bar! No, no - I promise to Use My Powers For Good. Yes, I'll get that for you in writing and notarized. Alright, I'll take out the part about beating Pat Robertson and David Duke to a bloody pulp being "good". Can I keep the "funny pranks" clause? No? Fine. No, no - it's FINE. (2) To The Boss: I'd like to speak to you regarding the egregious lack of cost of living increases we've experienced over the last several years. It's my belief that proper compensation for all of your employees includes cost of living increases in pay. And more affordable health care. ::puts boss' car back down on ground:: Can I get that in writing, sir? Thanks! (3) To My Best Friend: DUDE! LOOK! ::punches hole in 2" thick steel plate carried just for that purpose:: I dunno, something bit me and I woke up this morning and I was like this. I gotta figure out my costume. And my name. No, I will not be "The Craptacular Cactus-Man". Well, fine! Go get your own ass bitten by something radioactive, see if I care. I'm going to go downtown and look for jaywalkers to assault. (4) To My Parents: Mom, Dad - you remember how you told me when I was a kid that if I got bitten by a radioactive animal that I'd just have to get rabies shots, and I wouldn't become a superhero? Well YOU WERE WRONG! ::does victory dance:: HA! HA! What else did you lie to me about, huh? ::runs around house with scissors:: HAHAHAHAHA! I can't lose an eye, because I'm INVULNERABLE! (5) To My First Ass-Whuppee: Listen, Mr. Robertson. Before I hit you, you've got to agree to never, ever say a word about this to my wife. The other members of the Friday Five League Of Super Justice And Ass-Whuppin' are listed on the left sidebar. EXCELSIOR! | Thursday, July 08, 2004
Pssst! Wanna free Kerry/Edwards Bumper Sticker? Then go HERE. US only, our Foreign Friends will, sadly, have to do without. | Langston Hughes: Enemy Of The State Phaedrus pointed this out on his blog, and I had to run with it. Looks like the Repukes have finally twigged to the fact that Langston Hughes, author of the poem "Let America Be America", John Kerry's theme for this election, was *gasps, clutches pearls* a communist. Such clear, unbiased thinkers as Rush "Prison Torture is good, clean fun" Limbaugh and William F. "I'm not relevant anymore, but I like to think so" Buckley are all het up. Because, of course, it's impossible to be both an American and a Communist. I mean, Joe McCarthy proved that in the 1950s! It would, of course, be utterly ridiculous to suggest that we look at this in a historical context. The fact that Langston Hughes was black in a period in which uppity negroes tended to get lynched, in which black Americans were denied their right to vote, denied equal access to education and medical care, hell, got shoved to the back of the bus and faced on a daily basis indignities that no human deserves to face - that fact has nothing to do with his being a Communist, does it? No, not a bit. Except. In the 1920s and 30s, the Communist Party USA was one of the ONLY groups speaking out against racism. The Democrats were still the party of the South - FDR hadn't come along yet to lead the party away from the twisted legacy of the Civil War. The Republicans were more interested in hanging out with the Big Money folks on the East Coast. Not even the Socialists spoke out. But the Communists did. They were a fringe movement. They attracted idealists and dreamers - people who saw the massive inequalities around them and spoke out about them. We can fault their ignorance of the way things were in Stalin's "Worker's Paradise", and we can fault their understanding of economics, but you've got to admit that they had guts. Why was Langston Hughes a communist? Let the man speak for himself:
So I'm not going to fault a Black man back then for aligning himself with the only group that seemed to give a rat's ass for his people. I'll save my ire for the people like Trent Lott that yearn for the good old days of segregation instead. | Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Will the Darwin Lifeguard Please Report To The Shallow End Of The Gene Pool? 2 teens injured removing gunpowder from shotgun shells. Now, I've taken gunpowder from bullets and shells before - use a wooden vise, rubber-tipped pliers and make sure to go slowly and work carefully, that's the key - BE CAREFUL. These future Darwin Award winners were using a hammer. A hammer. Let's review, shall we? We've got shotgun shells and we're trying to take them apart using a hammer. Shotgun shells have these little thingies called "percussion caps", designed to go off if they're struck a sharp blow. The rocket scientists were kind enough to make a video tape of their work so the police had evidence for their trial. I wanna know - WTF are they teaching the kids in school these days? It's not logic, I can tell you that much. | Lemme Straighten A Few Things Out To hear the GOP talk about it, you'd think Georgie Bush was right there on the front lines of Pickett's Charge at Gettysburg, a bold, proud Southerner and a native Texan to the core. I'm a transplant to Texas myself (as are lots of folks - no shame in that), but I was born in Tennessee and raised in Georgia to 10th Generation Southerners. Culturally speaking, my neck is red, my socks are white, and I like Blue Ribbon beer. I'm happy to be a Southerner, but I'm also painfully aware of the shortcomings of my native region. I celebrate the positives of it while acknowledging, regretting and trying to make better its shortcomings. That noted, I'd like to introduce some of you to a word you might not have heard before. Carpetbagger - 1. A Northerner who went to the South after the Civil War for political or financial advantage. 2. An outsider, especially a politician, who presumptuously seeks a position or success in a new locality. George W. Bush is a carpetbagger. It doesn't matter how many pairs of cowboy boots he owns, how many white cowboy hats he wears or how many sissy-sized chainsaws he uses on his Dude Ranch in Crawford. The boy comes from Old Yankee Money. He isn't self-made and he's got the common touch about as much as I've got the Midas Touch. So don't call him a Texan. Don't call him a Southerner. Call him what he is - a no-account peckerwood with delusions of competence. | Tuesday, July 06, 2004
Kewl! John Cleese to write Superman graphic novel. In this veddy British tale, the Last Son of Krypton's rocket ship crash-lands in an English town even smaller than Smallville, where the infant Kal-El is taken in by adoptive parents - the Clarks - who raise their son Colin to hide his powers, because the worst thing anyone can do is stand out in the crowd. But when Colin grows up to become a mild-mannered reporter working for the Daily Smear, a powerful tabloid newspaper dedicated to uncovering the biggest story of the century, he finds that the key to his success may be in going public. What will the neighbors think? According to the folks at Dragon's Lair, it's due out October 13th. I've already reserved my copy. | Monday, July 05, 2004
Heading Out The Door One (1) exhausted dad Two (2) fussy children, ages 4 & 7 One (1) cranky baby Staying home: One (1) mommy with a column due Think we'll swing by Half-Price Books and trade in some stuff. | Sunday, July 04, 2004
Whew Had our annual 4th of July party today - lots of fun, lots of good folks. Marvin and Gord came by, as well as Julie and Mr. and Mrs. Chester D - shout out! Things have wound down - just Meredith and her kids, as well as our brood running amok. Good party, though. And we haven't even got around to blowing things up. | Saturday, July 03, 2004
Rules? We don' need no steenkin' rules! Republican leaders in Congress trying to rush vote on the Hate Amendment without proper deliberation. Not that it'll ultimately help - even its backers admit they don't have enough votes. No, they want to get some good quotes for more of their attack ads. From the New York Times: Senator Frist concedes that there are not enough votes for passage. But he insists that heterosexual marriage is under such attack that there's an urgent need to leap directly to a debate. "Every day I put it off, more people get married," Dr. Frist said in explaining the sudden rush. Imagine, more people getting married before they can be constitutionally discriminated against. Mothercheneying dipwads. I'm looking forward to sending their asses home in November. I just wish it was legal for me to vote twice, so I could savor the pleasure of voting them out one more time. | Good Haul Took the kids to Dragon's Lair, the Friendliest of FLCS, and did alright. Barry Ween, Ex Parte, a couple of manga, and the kids did rather well with Teen Titans and Spider-Man. It's my third favorite holiday! | Free Comic Book Day! Go to your FLCS (Friendly Local Comic Shop) and help yourself to some FREE COMICS. While you're there, browse the rest of their titles (and they'll have a bunch) and maybe find one or two you'd like to subscribe to. | Friday, July 02, 2004
| Words So Good, They Made Me Cry This morning, NPR had a piece that consisted of their reporters reading the Declaration Of Independence. Made tears come to my eyes, listening to that subversive, treasonous document. When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. | Friday 5 The Ten Commandments are shaking at the knees for want of a zimmer frame. They're punchy and in need of a spit and shine and I'll stop mixing metaphors there; or similies? What Five, because friday ten doesn't ryhme, new guidelines, who listens to commands, would you suggest the Western world should prop up it's faltering morality with? - from Rob Five Commandments? Ahhhh, the sweet smell of POWER! Adam's Five Commandments I. Thou Shalt Not Stick Your Nose In The Bidness Of Others - Yeah, there's going to be exceptions, but they're pretty much limited to making sure individuals are not being injured or killed. II. Thou Shalt Shut Yer Damn Pie Hole If You Don't Know What You're Talking About - This should take care of Lush Rimjob and his ilk. III. Thou Shalt Engage In Whatever Acts Thou Wish With Other Consenting Adults - Kind of falls under Commandment I, but I think it's important to stress this. IV. Thou Shalt Bathe Daily Unless It Is Absolutely Necessary To Skip A Bath - This includes brushing your teeth and wearing clean clothes. Really, no one likes a Stinky Bastard. V. Thou Shalt Shut The Damn Door, For Thou Wert Not Born In A Goddamn Barn - This one's really for my kids more than anything else. I sweartagawd, I'm not air conditioning the entire fuckin' neighborhood! The other Fivers are listed to the left. Email me if you want to get in on the sweetness that is being a Friday Fiver, or just answer the question on your own blog. | Thursday, July 01, 2004
Ripped Off Turns out I was just rating labels of a Major Brand's Faux Microbrew during the focus group tonight rather than drinking beer. Still got the money, but I was hopin' for the free beer, too. | More amusement. 20 Questions for a better personality You are an SECL--Sober Emotional Constructive Leader. This makes you a politician. You cut deals, you change minds, you make things happen. You would prefer to be liked than respected, but generally people react to you with both. You are very sensitive to criticism, since your entire business is making people happy. At times your commitment to the happiness of other people can cut into the happiness of you and your loved ones. This is very demanding on those close to you, who may feel neglected. Slowly, you will learn to set your own agenda--including time to yourself. You are gregarious, friendly, charming and charismatic. You like animals, sports, and beautiful cars. You wear understated gold jewelry and have secret bad habits, like chewing your fingers and fidgeting. You are very difficult to dislike. Y'hear? I'm all about making you happy, you little fuckers! So get with the goddamn happy! Ganked from Marvin | A bit of levity My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Baam Ice. | An interesting review of "Fahrenheit 9/11" I mean at least be fucking honest. Stop pretending like you are the underdog who has to argue against the juggernaut of Michael Moore and the leftist bullies. Yes he has the money of Harvey Weinstein, but he's still going up against the entire "news" media, a republican president, a republican congress, a general lack of interest in documentaries, a number of right wing PR groups, and a whole bunch of bitchy sometime liberals that have to prove their street cred by showing that they are above Michael Moore and his baseball hat. | Dissent Is A Fundamental American Value I've commented on this before, as have untold numbers of others on the Left. I?m speaking to the choir, but, as my friend Jeremy pointed out, it?s something that bears repeating. In a discussion of "Fahrenheit 9/11" at work with a few Bush supporters (none of whom have seen the movie), I was told that Michael Moore "hates America". This was at odds with the movie I've seen, and with public statements of Moore's that I've read and heard, so I asked for evidence. The gist of the fumfraw and harrumphing was that Moore criticizes America's foreign policy and president, therefore he hates America. When I pointed out that they criticized the foreign policies of Bill Clinton and engaged in lengthy diatribes attacking his character and competence, and that, by their standards, they, too, "hated America", their voices got rather shrill and whiny. This came as no surprise to me - the Right has traditionally claimed a monopoly on patriotism. As Samuel Johnson wrote, "Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel." It's my personal belief, though, that those who dissent in word and deed show a greater love for their home. Let's look at a few "America-hating liberals" through the last 200-odd years, shall we? Henry David Thoreau. Susan B. Anthony. Joe Hill. Martin Luther King, Jr. Ron Kovic. Harriet Beecher Stowe. Gen. Smedley Butler, USMC. Quite the list of godless, unpatriotic traitors, isn't it? Here's the deal: Our nation was founded upon the principle that the citizens have a voice in the running of the government. Amendments to our Constitution were added in rather short order after our nation's founding to make it as difficult as possible for the government to silence opposition. Freedom of speech, freedom of religion and a free press. Freedom from having soldiers quartered in your house. Protection from unreasonable search and seizure. Protection against self-incrimination in a court of law, and against being tried over and over again until the "right" verdict is reached. Speedy trials by impartial juries, with a lawyer's counsel. Freedom from excessive bails and fines, and protection against cruel and unusual punishments. The right to keep and bear arms, as a last resort. Those values are the bedrock upon which our nation was built, and, for the most part, we've held to those principles. The Founding Fathers, all revolutionaries and, by the standards of their mother country, traitors to the Crown, recognized that a government that rules without allowing its citizens to question it will sooner or later turn into a tyranny. Henry David Thoreau, one of the greatest philosophers of the 19th Century, stated in "On Civil Disobedience", "The mass of men serve the state thus, not as men mainly, but as machines, with their bodies. They are the standing army, and the militia, jailers, constables, posse comitatus, etc. In most cases there is no free exercise whatever of the judgement or of the moral sense; but they put themselves on a level with wood and earth and stones; and wooden men can perhaps be manufactured that will serve the purpose as well. Such command no more respect than men of straw or a lump of dirt. They have the same sort of worth only as horses and dogs. Yet such as these even are commonly esteemed good citizens. Others--as most legislators, politicians, lawyers, ministers, and office-holders--serve the state chiefly with their heads; and, as the rarely make any moral distinctions, they are as likely to serve the devil, without intending it, as God. A very few--as heroes, patriots, martyrs, reformers in the great sense, and men--serve the state with their consciences also, and so necessarily resist it for the most part; and they are commonly treated as enemies by it." Words to live by. In 36 years of life, I have met only one person that openly hated America, and he was the son of a Ku Klux Klan member who hated "the mongrelization of America". Face it, you're more likely to die for your political beliefs if you're on the left than on the right. In criticizing the government, you are reminding those in power that they serve us at our sufferance, that you, not they, rule our nation. To question the wisdom of the choices made by our government is to ensure that our nation is made stronger. In short, to speak truth to those in power is, perhaps, the most fundamental of American values. It's possible to love America and to criticize it - some might say it's necessary to criticize America to love it fully. Left or right, there's folks that died so you could speak your mind. So speak up, say what needs to be said. If we don't, we might find some day that we can't. | |