Another stupid internet quiz
Ganked from Marvin
What's on your bedside table?
A telephone, my old scratched glasses, 6-7 novels and anthologies (some read, some unread) and 3 RPG sourcebooks.
What is the geekiest part of your music collection?
Either the "Irish Songs of Rebellion" CD or my copy of "The Secret Policeman's Other Ball".
What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night?
Beer, ice cream, cheese toast, leftovers. Nothing beats a leftover meatloaf sammich on homemade buttermilk bread with a wee dab of hot chinese mustard and a little goat cheese.
What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?
"Old Yeller".
Do you have a completely irrational fear?
Clowns. Spiders. Spiders dressed like clowns. Clowns carrying spiders.
What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moment?
I get this little twitchy thing going. I tend towards a nervous sweat when I'm speaking in public.
Do you ever have to beg?
To get the children to sleep? Yes.
Are you a pyromaniac?
I wouldn't say I'm a "maniac", but there is a certain delight to blowing shit up real good.
Do you have too many love interests?
No.
Do you know anyone famous?
I know some people that are well-known in certain circles, but no one you could rightly call "famous" in the Ben Affleck or Jimmy Carter sense of being instantly recognizable.
Describe your bed.
King size, Sleeping Place of Choice for all residents of our house, which means it can get somewhat crowded after about 2-3AM some nights.
Spontaneous or plan?
Spontaneous.
Who should play you in a movie about your life?
I've been accused of looking like Kenneth Branagh, so going on physical appearance, him. I think Jack Black would fit my personality more.
Do you know how to play poker?
Yes.
What do you carry with you at all times?
Books. At least one, maybe more.
How do you drive?
Carefully, after my last speeding ticket. Before that, relatively carefully, but not carefully enough.
What do you miss most about being little?
25-cent comic books and 15-cent candy bars.
Are you happy with your given name?
Yep.
How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year?
To quote Chico Marx, "You couldn't afford it." Enough to keep me in books and movies for a year, I think.
What color is your bedroom?
Off-white. One of these days, we'll get around to painting it.
What was the last song you were listening to?
"San Francisco" by the Village People.
Have you ever been in a play?
Yeah. I majored in theater - how could I avoid it?
Who are your best friends?
Melissa, the folks in my gaming group, Will and Merideth.
Have you ever been in love?
Yes, and I still am. It's a Good Thing.
Do you talk a lot?
Not by my standards, but other people think so (when they can get a word in edgewise).
Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
Yes. Generally.
Have you ever done any illegal drugs?
Yes.
Do you think you're cute?
Yes.
Do poor, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you?
Not as a general rule.
Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
More or less, though I have a tendency to be snarky.
Do you spend more time with your girlfriend, boyfriend, or your friends?
With my wife.
What is your ideal marriage location?
For Melissa and me, it wasn't
getting married that mattered so much as
being married. Drove Melissa crazy, because she kept trying to involve me in the decision-making process and all I would say was, "Yeah, shure, that's fine. Whatever you think is best." Almost got me killed, if that wouldn't have messed up the wedding.
Which musical instrument do you wish you could play?
The banjo. Or the theramin.
Favorite fabric?
Cotton. Does leather count as a fabric?
What kind of bedding do you use?
Cotton or flannel, depending on the season.
What kind of soap do you use?
Idunno, soap-scented soap.
What's the one language you want to learn?
Urdu. 'Cause I like the name.
How do you eat an apple?
I take a bite, develop Forbidden Knowledge of Good and Evil, then blame The Woman. Jehovah always throws me out before I can get Eternal Life.
What do you order at a bar?
Beer. Shiner Bock, if possible.
Have you ever pierced your body parts?
My earlobe. Does my eardrum count? A doctor did that.
Do you have tattoos?
Not yet.
Would you ever admit to having done plastic surgery of any kind if confronted?
Yes. Unless it was embarassing, like hair implants (which I won't get anyway).
What's one of the "funniest" things you've ever done?
"Funny"="Ha Ha" or "Funny"="Weird"? "Ha Ha" - Duct-taped a guy to the ceiling while he slept once in college. "Weird" - Shaved my eyebrows off.
Do you drive stick?
Is that some kind of sex code? 'Cause while I am bi, I'm also in a monogamous relationship, so I don't right now. I guess in theo-
Oh.
No, my car has an automatic transmission.
What's one trait you hate in a person?
Assholery. Assholitude. Assness. Whatever term you want to use.
What kind of watch(es) do you wear?
Whatever the cheapest analog Timex is at the store.
Most frivolous purchase?
The $5 web cam I picked up last month. Piece. Of. Shit.
Do you consider yourself materialistic?
Yes.
What do you cook the best?
Buttermilk biscuits. BBQ, too.
Favorite writing instrument?
Bic roller pens, 5mm tip, black ink. The computer runs a close second.
Do you prefer to stand out or blend in?
Stand out.
Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
Did it in college once. The hose rode up on me something awful. Don't think I'd do it again, since I'd have to shave my beard.
What's one car you will never buy?
Any SUV. Especially a Cadillac or Lexus SUV - that's just asking for people like me to make fun of you.
What kind of books do you like to read?
History, science, SF, fantasy, swashbucklers, politics - really anything except schmoopy romance.
If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
Pay bills.
Burial or cremation?
Cremation. Because I'm going to insist that someone track down people on my Shit List after I die and throw ashes in their faces, saying, "Hey, motherfucker! Adma gets the last goddamn word! Eat this!"
How many online journals do you read regularly?
9-10.
What's one thing you're a sore loser at?
Trivial Pursuit.
If you don't like a person, how do you show it?
Sarcasm, but sometimes, if I really don't like them, I just get
really nice. Until I stab 'em in the back.
Do you cry in front of friends?
I've done it before. I'm secure in my Manly Status that way.
What kind of first impression do you think you give to people?
Loud, overconfident, occasionally funny in a manic kind of way.
What's one thing you like to do alone?
Read.
What's the worst thing you ever said to someone?
It's kind of hard to narrow that down.
When's the last time you cried?
Last week, at my parents' house.
Favorite communication method?
Talking. Talkingtalkingtalkingtalking.
What is one thing you don't leave home without?
Books. And clean underwear, 'cause they won't let you into the hospital if you don't have some.
What's the most painful experience you've ever had?
Phsyically: Breaking my leg in 2nd grade. I could feel the bones grating against each other.
Emotionally: When Melissa had a miscarriage.
Can you type with your eyes closed?
Yes, but there will be errors.
Can you ski?
If by "ski" you mean "Fall down a hill at about 900 MPH", I'm pretty sure I could do that. If you want a controlled descent, no.
Can you speak in sign language?
Does "Fuck off cheese dick milkshake yes bitch" count?
Can you do the butterfly stroke?
I don't know. Is that another sex thing, or is it about driving my car?
Can you say the alphabet backwards effortlessly?
Yes.
Can you tie a knot in a cherry stem with your tongue?
Yes.
Can you run a mile in under ten minutes?
Depends on what's chasing me.
Can you stand the sight of blood?
I can stand it, but I do tend towards wigging out if it's Melissa's or one of my kids' blood.
Can you read palms or tarot cards?
Tarot cards, but it takes a while.
Can you admit it when you're wrong?
Yes. Eventually.
Can you ask for help when you need it?
Yes. Eventually.
Can you tie a necktie?
Yes.
Can you successfully pierce someone's ear?
Yes.
Can you play soccer?
Yes. In a lumbering, stop-halfway-down-the-field-and-have-a-beer-and-a-smoke kind of way.
Can you sing?
Yes. Not well, but I can sing.
Can you name three kinds of clouds?
Yes. But God says I can't tell you their names.
Can you make a joke out of anything?
Yes.
Can you perform CPR on another human?
Yes.
Do you know what CPR stands for?
Yes.
Can you read minds?
No, and neither can anyone else.
Can you write better poetry than Shakespeare?
No.
Can you speak more than one language?
I can order vodka in Russian and then start a bar fight. Does that count?
Do you know karate?
And several other Japanese words. Ba-DUMP!
Can you freestyle?
Another sex question? What is it with these people?