A Violently Executed Blog

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Wednesday, November 30, 2005
 
A 26-day Project

In way of explanation of my post of earlier today, I'm working on a little writing project. I'm going to write 100-250 words on mythological/fictional locations - one for each letter of the alphabet. Today's was Atlantis, tomorrow is Barsoom. If there's a place you'd like to see me write about, post in the comments and I'll see if I can work it in.


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Mythological Locations A-Z: A is For Atlantis

When the earthquakes began, some Atlanteans understood what was coming. In their oricalchum saucers, they fled to the Pacific, where they were able to build an underwater city. Cunningly, they disguised it as a coral atoll, and they devoted the next several millennia to perfecting their knowledge of science and sociology. Finally, in late June, 1946 they were ready - giant saucers full of food and technology would fan out across the globe, uniting all men in a brotherhood of technology and humanistic values.

The detonation of the first atomic bomb over Bikini Atoll almost destroyed them, but even then, the Atlanteans hoped their gifts could stop the senseless destruction caused by war. The second bomb, detonated underwater on July 25th, shattered the dome protecting the city. Tens of thousands died. A few survived the bomb tests, though, and now they have finally recovered enough to plan a new mission to the outside world. This time, however, they want revenge. Their saucers will rain death upon us all, laying waste to our cities. As ye sow, so shall ye reap.


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Tuesday, November 29, 2005
 
Dear Citizens for Literary Standards in Schools

While I recognize that CLaSSKC is primarily devoted to exposing obscenity in the great state of Kansas, I couldn't help but notice that you have also set up a section detailing the presence of obscenity and profanity in blogs. As you put it,
we believe that "what you let your mind dwell on, you become" and "garbage in, garbage out" are very apt statements.
I couldn't agree more. That's why I want to get on your list!

Now, I don't live in Kansas. To be honest, I don't think you ignorant piss-drinkers could scrape up enough money to pay me to live in Kansas. That said, I'm not one to miss the opportunity to get some free publicity. I'm currently awaiting the results of an application to be a member of Bill O'Reilly's "Enemies List", and have even designed a line of clothing that allows people to proudly display their fondness for un-American and vulgar discourse.

I wouldn't expect you to go through my blog entry by entry (there's several thousand there, after all!) and catalogue every single fuck, shit, goddamn, motherfucker, piss, cunt, cock and goat-raper I've typed in the last 2+ years. Perhaps you could just skim through and list some highlights.

I cannot say how thrilled I am to have the opportunity to be listed on your blog listing service, and how excited I am at the possiblity of reaching out to some of the benighted citizens of your backwards, bible-humping, illiterate state. All I ask is that you get the link to my blog right and give me some warning so that I can provide a suitable welcome to any potential readers.

I assure you that I maintain high literary standards on my blog, and strive for utter perfection in grammar and spelling. Perhaps I can serve as an inspiration to some boy or girl in Kansas, showing them that intellectual fortitude can go hand-in-hand with a command of scatology that makes Jesus puke.

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to your prompt reply.

ACLipscomb, Proprietor
A Violently Executed Blog


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Monday, November 28, 2005
 
Wish Lists

Our response to the incessant marketing on TV targeting our kids has been to develop a reflexive, 6 word response:

"Put it on your Wish List"

Granted, that's led to the replacement of "Mo-om! I want the Tyco RC Megamorph Exploderacer!" to "Da-ad! Can I put the Tyco RC Megamorph Exploderacer on my Wish List?", but it means we can cull the toys that can't make it through the commercial-break attention span barrier.

That said, I present item #1 to make it past my own personal coffee-break attention span barrier: The Browncoat.

For the Firefly fan with money to burn, it's not cheap at $478. It is, however, pretty gorram shiny.

It's a little somethin' to save my pennies for, is what it is.


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Sunday, November 27, 2005
 
Willkommen In Das Neue Amerika!

Forget all that old rot about "Bills of Rights" - in the Post-9/11 world, it's all about givin' a smackdown to those that hate our freedom. If it's necessary to destroy those freedoms to save them, well, omelettes... eggs... you get the picture.

First, we find that the Pentagon is expanding its domestic surveillance programs.
...The White House is considering expanding the power of a little-known Pentagon agency called the Counterintelligence Field Activity, or CIFA, which was created three years ago. The proposal, made by a presidential commission, would transform CIFA from an office that coordinates Pentagon security efforts -- including protecting military facilities from attack -- to one that also has authority to investigate crimes within the United States such as treason, foreign or terrorist sabotage or even economic espionage.

...

Among the steps already taken by the Pentagon that enhanced its domestic capabilities was the establishment after 9/11 of Northern Command, or Northcom, in Colorado Springs, to provide military forces to help in reacting to terrorist threats in the continental United States. Today, Northcom's intelligence centers in Colorado and Texas fuse reports from CIFA, the FBI and other U.S. agencies, and are staffed by 290 intelligence analysts. That is more than the roughly 200 analysts working for the State Department's Bureau of Intelligence and Research, and far more than those at the Department of Homeland Security.

In addition, each of the military services has begun its own post-9/11 collection of domestic intelligence, primarily aimed at gathering data on potential terrorist threats to bases and other military facilities at home and abroad. For example, Eagle Eyes is a program set up by the Air Force Office of Special Investigations, which "enlists the eyes and ears of Air Force members and citizens in the war on terror," according to the program's Web site.

The Marine Corps has expanded its domestic intelligence operations and developed internal policies in 2004 to govern oversight of the "collection, retention and dissemination of information concerning U.S. persons," according to a Marine Corps order approved on April 30, 2004.
Well, you can just rock me to sleep. This administration is putting more effort in to monitoring American citizens than it is in to protecting us from terrorists. As recently as last year, they had more analysts checking up on Cuba than they had looking for Osama bin Laden, that guy we were gonna "smoke out", "dead or alive". The PATRIOT Act has been renewed, with only cosmetic restrictions on the FBI's ability to issue secret warrants to fish for information from libraries, internet providers, employers and others.

The other news is not really new, but combined with the above article points the way towards a more arbitrary system of justice in this country.

When Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales announced last week that Jose Padilla would be transferred to the federal justice system from military detention, he said almost nothing about the standards the administration used in deciding whether to charge terrorism suspects like Mr. Padilla with crimes or to hold them in military facilities as enemy combatants.

"We take each individual, each case, case by case," Mr. Gonzales said.
In short, in das Neue Amerika, we all better watch what we say, read and think. Piss off the wrong people and you're gonna wind up somewhere they know how to treat people that think their "freedom" mean being free to dissent.

Why, I bet Das Neue Amerika could last 1000 years, if we're lucky!


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Saturday, November 26, 2005
 
Recovery Time

The kids are playing (mostly) quietly, Melissa's getting some writing done and I'm just taking it slow, not even looking at the news. I'll have plenty of time to catch up and get my blood pressure up tomorrow.


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Friday, November 25, 2005
 
A Good Day

Not as many people at the 4APTLPP* today as in previous years, but a good party nonetheless. Baby Alec made friends with everyone, stories were told, wine and beer drunk, and Melissa made a chocolate pie. Mmmm, chocolate pie.

Plus, I've got some of that yummy green bean casserole with the fried onions on top to take to work for lunch next week.

* - 4th Annual Post Thanksgiving Leftover Potluck Party


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Thursday, November 24, 2005
 
Obligatory Acknowledgement Of The Holiday

Thanksgiving Day, America's tribute to the second most enjoyable of the Deady Sins, Gluttony. I'm working this morning, getting that oh-so-delicious "double-time-and-a-half" and then driving over to the in-laws' to meet Melissa and the kids for a Delicious Thanksgiving Feast.

Tomorrow is our annual "Leftover Potluck" - it looks to be a different crew than we normally get, but we'll still have all those delicious leftover casseroles and plus Melissa's making her Famous Turkey Carcass Soup.

I ate a very light breakfast this morning, and I'm planning to skip lunch. That way, I've got plenty of room for Turkeylicious Goodness. If I'm lucky, the kids'll chill out enough that I can take a nap.


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Wednesday, November 23, 2005
 
No-Brainers

When you're given a choice between $1,000,000 tax-free and legal or eating a bowl of live scorpions, that's what you call a no-brainer. A choice so easy to make that even the most ignorant, toilet-water-drinking, low-grade moron would make the exact same decision because it's obvious which is the best choice.

There are choices that aren't that easy - "Should I spend my limited Holiday Movie Bucks on King Kong, or take the kids to see The Chronicles of Narnia? Or just buy the DVD of Serenity and skip the theater entirely?" That's a little bit harder choice. "Do I save the Mona Lisa from the fire, or do I save the old lady?" That's pretty damn implausible, but a difficult choice.

"To torture or not to torture."

That, my friends, is a no-brainer.

It's been known for centuries that torture doesn't really get anything useful in terms of confessions. There's no way to be sure that a victim has told everything or even told the truth. If the victim is innocent, they've been brutalized for nothing, and you've turned a possible ally into an implacable enemy. If they're guilty, they might tell you everything, but they might also be holding out. They might be just strong-willed enough to resist the thumbscrews and the strappado and maybe even the Spanish boot. There's no way to be sure, so best put them in the Scavenger's daughter, just to be sure.

The limitations of torture are well-documented, and it's been used more as a means of intimidation by totalitarian regimes than as a legitimate means of gathering information in recent years. In fact, one of the post hoc reasons for the invasion of Iraq was the torture chambers of Saddam Hussein. Hussein had rape rooms, in which the mothers, wives and daughters of dissidents were raped, often in full view of their family members. Stories abound of Uday Hussein feeding victims into shredding machines feet-first. During the Korean and Vietnam conflicts, American soldiers were subjected to brutal treatment by their North Korean and Vietnamese captors. In our movies and TV, the use of torture is a clear indicator that a character or society is bad. Our Constitution enshrines the principle that no man should be subjected to cruel or unusual punishment or deprived of due process. Two centuries of legal precedents have made it clear that we don't torture.

Now, though, in the black-is-white, ignorance-is-strength Orwellian world of the Bush mAdministration, we're having a national debate over torture. Our elected government is, with an entirely straight face, insisting that it's necessary to hold people without charge or trial, beat them, deprive them of sleep and food, let them sit in their own feces for days at a time, waterboard them - these are all OK, even if their victims are ultimately innocent, because we're fighting a war.

We hear that torture might be useful if we're in, say, a "ticking bomb" scenario where one guy has the information and we need to get it to save the city of New York.

Well, shit. I never watched 24, but I can tell you that those situations are pretty goddamn rare in the real world. As in, it's about as likely that Mt. St. Helens will spew molten chocolate.

Torture should be a no-brainer. No sane member of our society should have to spend more than a second making the decision. Hell, the answer ought to be out before the question's finished: "Hey - can we tortu-" "NO!"

This is the 21st fucking century, people. Not the Middle Ages. We're a modern, enlightened society - we've touched the goddamn moon, we've eradicated smallpox, we spent 50 years dancing on the precipice of nuclear war and we didn't do it. We're better than this, and any politician or appointee that seriously suggests that torture is anything other than an abomination and a blight upon our culture ought to get strung up, tarred, feathered and run out of town on a rail.

Speak up, people. Don't let the bastards ratfuck us like this.

Stop them, by whatever means necessary.


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Tuesday, November 22, 2005
 
Bob Woodward

Y'know, time was Bob Woodward was one of my heroes. He'd worked with Carl Bernstein to expose Nixon's tapestry of lies and really shown the power of a free press in a free society.

Now? Not so much. Part of it is just due to the realization that heroes are just ordinary people that you view through a filter - you pretend not to see the warts and focus on the impressive stuff. You see FDR's New Deal and leadership in WWII, but ignore the internment of the Nisei and the US' callous disregard for the plight of Jews in Europe until it was too late. You see Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation, and you don't see his suspension of Habeas Corpus. That's an attractive way to look at the world, but not a very realistic one. I try to just look at folks as human now. The result is that the "evil" ones look more pathetic, the "noble" ones just look human.

Yeah, Bob Woodward did some pretty impressive stuff when he was younger. Now he just looks like another Establishment Media Whore, sucking up to the Bushistas in return for "access" and by extension being complicit in a systemic cover-up of the truth. I'm not hurt, or shocked, or even upset at Woodward. I'm disappointed - it's depressing to see an old fart try to pretend he's still relvant. Woodward insisting he really, really does hold Bush's feet to the fire is equivalent to the middle-aged guys you see lurking at hip nightclubs, hair implants neatly combed as they cruise the college girls for one dumb enough to mistake a sports car for a sign of virility. Yeah, they might really like Industrial music, they might even really be able to get it up without the assistance of a fistful of Viagra, but their efforts to be cool and edgy just highlight their pathetic desire to fit in with people with whom they have nothing in common.

Give it up, Woodward. You used to be impressive. No longer. Don't point to your Watergate work as a sign of your relevance, 'cause I'll just ask: "What have you done lately?"


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Yep, That Pretty Much Sums It Up

Republicans don't like black people.
The chief sponsor of Georgia's voter identification law told the Justice Department that if black people in her district "are not paid to vote, they don't go to the polls," and that if fewer blacks vote as a result of the new law, it is only because it would end such voting fraud.
Quelle surprise. Georgia, it's nice to see you've made so much progress since Jim Crow days. Thanks for furthering the image of southerners as bigoted, ignorant dumbass crackers. I appreciate it. No, really.

Fuckin' fuckwits.


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Monday, November 21, 2005
 
The City - Geography & Surrounding Terrain

Whether you're a fan of Jared Diamond's hypotheses or not, it's clear that geography plays some role in the development of a society. The nature of The City depends in part upon its location. Starting with my assumption that it drew much of its livelihood from trade, I made a series of decisions and extrapolations.
  • It is easily accessible from the sea. I decided to place it in a sheltered bay rather than further up an estuary as a purely arbitrary choice, hoping for a "Hong Kong" feel rather than "New Orleans".
  • It's got rivers going by or through it. Makes further travel inland easier, especially good coming to it. Additionally, it will be harder to lay seige to The City.
  • It's in a temperate zone - somewhere between the Mediterranean and the Mid-Atlantic in climate, with seasonal variation but no major extremes in either direction. Winters will be cold, but not brutal. Summers will be hot, but not hot or humid enough to make tropical diseases (especially the mosquito-borne variety) a problem.
  • The City is split across one of the rivers flowing into the bay, like Buda and Pest in Hungary. The Old City, built on top of ruins dating back tens of thousands of years, would be the administrative center, as well as the home of the wealthier denizens. The New City would be built around the docks and expanding outward, with markets and neighborhood populated by crafts and skilled trades.
I checked out several different map-drawing applications online, but they didn't quite get me the results I wanted. I wound up digging through several archives (UT's Perry-Castaneda Library is the best one yet) to find a map of northern Italy, which I then rotated and did some judicious cutting and pasting to get this:



The area shaded bright green is the extent of The City's political influence - people in that area generally look to The City for military protection and support, although the more distant from the city, the more self-sufficient the community. Areas shaded dark green are forests. A small population of "wild" elves lives in each forest, but there is little or no contact between the wild elves and their city cousins. In the mountains on each side of the valley are dwarf kingdoms, their contact with The City is limited to trade for ores and minerals not found in the local mountains. Yellow dots on the map are locations of trading/market villages.

The diet for The City will depend heavily on fish and seafood, with grain (or a grain-equivalent) being the other staple. Spices will be relatively cheap, compared with the surrounding area, and the large number of immigrants will produce a wide-ranging cuisine.

The shape of the valley will serve to channel northern winds down to The City, probably making winters colder than expected.

More and more, The City and its culture are taking on a life of their own. I find myself noticing things about The City that I don't recall consciously thinking about, but that appear to have just been added by my subconscious.


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Pardon Me While I Puke

UK poll finds 1 in 3 Brits thinks women are to blame for rape.
Between a third and a quarter of respondents also put part or all of the blame on the woman if she fails to say "no" clearly to the man, wears sexy clothes, drinks too much, has many sexual partners and walks alone in a deserted area.
Yes, I can see how that would be a logical position. If, perhaps, you had your head shoved firmly up your own ass and compounded it by having been dropped on your head several times as an infant. A steady diet of paint chips would also help you get to that level of staggering idiocy.

It's not a shocking revalation, those poll numbers - I'm sure similar polls in the US would get similar results - but it's disheartening to know that, in this day and age, rape is still blamed on the victim by a significant portion of the population.

Here we are well into the 21st Century, and a large chunk of us are still ruled by a medieval mindset. Charming.


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Sunday, November 20, 2005
 
Baby Alec, Monster For Hire

Alec has found Drew's gas mask and is chasing the dog arund the house. He looks like some kind of mutant toddler war-pig.


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This Is Cool!

Interactive Periodic Table!

If we'd had them internets when I was in school, this'd have come in really handy.

Tip o'th'hat to The Great Beast for finding this.


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Saturday, November 19, 2005
 
I'm Not The Only One That Noticed...




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Friday, November 18, 2005
 
The City: Theory And Practice Of Magic

Managed to plow through some mental blockage related to my campaign design, and thanks to an incredibly useful conversation with some folks at DriveWeSaid, I got some really interesting ideas that I was able to expand upon:
Mages tend to exhibit mutually contradictory personality traits: excessive caution, to the point of obsessive-compulsive behavior, combined with almost suicidal self-confidence. Thaumaturgy requires many years of study - while some very simple magic can theoretically be performed by anyone, more advanced and powerful use is based upon knowledge of an elaborate system of symbols, as well as an understanding of !Fnaarlic, the language of the builders of the original City. It is theorized that, as the !Fnaar (pronounced with an initial glottal click, ending with a gurgling snarl) were present before the Gods gave the rest of the world its form, their language has the ability to modify the shape of reality.

The symbols used in magic serve as speed bumps, since magic texts must be written in !Fnaarlic. Key words and concepts are replaced with ideograms to prevent a casual reading from triggering an unexpected spell. Years of study are required first to understand the complex alphabet of the !Fnaar, then more time is spent learning each symbol and what it stands for. Finally, the student is taught how to replace the symbols in spells and becomes a full-fledged mage. Students are apprenticed at an early age, when the mind is still flexible enough to adjust to the alien structure of magic use. The years of intense study and necessary self-control and restraint tend to make mages socially inept and solitary by nature. It is rare that a mage has a taste for alcohol or other intoxicants, as a slip in concentration at the wrong time would be disastrous for the mage and, possibly, the entire city. In general, a mage is treated on the streets with a wary respect, if not for the mage then for his or her power.

Approximately 1 in 1,000 have some magical talent in the population as a whole, with Elves skewing closer to 1/300 and Dwarfs trending the opposite direction. Most mages know only a few spells and do little or no research. These "Shop Mages", as they are called, will specialize in one school of magic and operate a storefront or on-call business, performing searches or healings and charging all the market will bear. They protect their turf jealously, but have managed to band together to form a small (but relatively powerful) trade association to serve as a means of resolving internal conflicts. More powerful mages - the older and/or more talented - are almost always very wealthy, as their skills allow them to set their own price. Most of these dedicate themselves to research, both theoretical and prehistoric.

In terms of gameplay, the semantics-based magic makes no difference - the "Magery" advantage represents training in the theory and practice of magic rather than an inborn talent, and the system is still spell-based. The GM could optionally allow mages with extensive knowledge in a school to attempt to cast spells in that school they do not know at a severe penalty with the attendant risk of a catastrophic backfire.
As previously, most names are merely "placeholders" until I can finish working up linguistic and cultural notes.


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Thursday, November 17, 2005
 
Onieromancy

I don't normally remember my dreams, not even the ones with Bernadette Peters and Kate Beckinsale and the hot tub of jello. Which is kind of a shame, really, except for the jello part.

Last night, though, I had one that - well, it didn't freak me out, but it was very memorable. I honestly don't know what to think about it. Most likely, it's a loose narrative structure my waking mind has thrown over a series of disconnected images put out by the random firing of neurons as I slept. Still, it's an entertaining way of stepping back and looking at yourself from a slight remove. The dream:
I'm outside, in a clearing. I've got someone - I don't recognize him - held by the front of their shirt with one hand - a classic "tough guy" hold. With my other hand, I keep hitting him in the face, punching him over and over and over.

When he goes unconscious, I drop him and look around guiltily, but no one is around. I wipe my hands and walk away, and realize that I'm walking through the woods at the farm my parents sold last year. I recognize the trees, the blackberry bramble that dried up years ago, I stop to wash my hands in the creek, but the cuts from hitting that guy are still there, and won't heal over. There's a constant trickle of my own blood covering my hands, and I realize that the guy I was hitting was myself, aged 18 or so.

I keep walking as a cold wind blows through the woods. I can track the progress of the wind, because as it blows past the trees, their leaves dry up and scatter, the green grass turns brown and the sky turns a gloomy grey.

Somewhere behind me is what I need, but I keep walking away from it.

Another gust of wind and the trees turn to dust, leaving me on a featureless brown plain. Behind me I see my footprints and the trail of small droplets of my blood and far, far off in the distance, the warm glow of whatever it is that I left.

I keep walking.

There's no sense of dread, just a certainty that where I want to be is behind me and where I'm going is where I have to go.
I didn't feel in the dream that I was walking away from family or my past per se - it felt very much like a dream about internal stuff, like I was leaving behind the warmth of certainty for something different and new. The images were kind of haunting. Might have to store them for use some time in the future.


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Wednesday, November 16, 2005
 
Baby Alec: Swashbuckler In Training

(1) This weekend, as the big kids ran through the house swinging toy swords at each other, Alec picked up a stick and ran after Drew and Franny. As he ran, he would pause from time to time and swing the stick from side to side shouting, "Ha-HA! Ha-HO!"
(2) While Alec was playing with some pirate action figures later that day, his dialogue consisted of, "ARRR! YO HO HO! AHOY!"
(3) Yesterday, I was making a list of words for Drew to alphabetize (it was a homework thing). I decided to go with a pirate theme and asked Melissa for a few suggestions to round out the list. She suggested "treasure", at which point Alec looked up and said excitedly, "OOOO! Tweasure!"

I'm thinking that Alec got more than we figured out of the repeated viewings of Captain Blood, The Sea Hawk and Robin Hood last summer.


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Well, I Don't See Any Way This Could Go Tragically Wrong!

According to the Washington Times (consider the source, weigh accordingly),
President Bush feels betrayed by several of his most senior aides and advisors and has severely restricted access to the Oval Office, administration sources say. The president's reclusiveness in the face of relentless public scrutiny of the U.S.-led war in Iraq and White House leaks regarding CIA operative Valerie Plame has become so extreme that Mr. Bush has also reduced contact with his father, former President George H.W. Bush, administration sources said on the condition of anonymity.
Matt Drudge adds:

The sources said Mr. Bush maintains daily contact with only four people: first lady Laura Bush, his mother, Barbara Bush, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Undersecretary of State Karen Hughes. The sources also say that Mr. Bush has stopped talking with his father, except on family occasions
If these reports are true, then our president is getting all his information from his wife, his mother, Condi Rice (the same Condi Rice that assumed a memo titled "Bin Laden Determined To Strike Within US" couldn't possibly mean that Osama Bin Laden actually wanted to, you know, launch a terror attack in the US) and Karen Hughes, who appears to think Boy George's shit smells like roses.

That's kind of, ummm, disturbing, considering the lack of military or foreign policy acumen in that list. Sure, Condi's theoretically got access to all the Big Brains over at Foggy Bottom, but considering how often she's listened to them in the past, I'm not holding out much hope. As for the rest of 'em, well... I hear Barbara's pretty goddamn mean. Dunno how much good that'll do, but there you have it.


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Tuesday, November 15, 2005
 
Dear Mr. O'Reilly:


It has come to my attention
that you are compiling a list of the anti-American smear merchants that regularly attack you and attempt to besmirch your fair reputation.

I would like to add my name to that list. I have called you a liar, a titty-baby, chickenshit and an odious git, among other things. My blog is at http://aclipscomb.blogspot.com, but if you would be so kind as to wait a few days, I'd like to get some advertisements up on my blog so as to take advantage of the increased traffic from your audience of barely-literate, mouth-breathing slack-jawed yokels.

I thank you for your time and the opportunity to benefit financially from your neo-Stalinist, McCarthy-ite pinheaded foolishness.

Adam Lipscomb
Texas

PS - Would it help move me higher on the list if I called you more names? If so: You're a lying asshole shitlicker moron with delusions of adequacy.


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Domestic Disturbance: Lines of Separation

Melissa's latest column. A little teaser:
According to Freud, infants don't perceive the boundaries between themselves and those around them; they have no sense of themselves as individuals separate from their caregivers. I suspect that blurring of identity goes both ways, perhaps especially for mothers, who so recently held their infants in their bodies.


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An Apology For Stoopid Haloscan

I was getting pissed off at everyone. Really, I was - I mean, 5 days without a comment, and I was, if I do say so myself, really tearing up the aether, showboating like nobody's business.

Then I got an email from Julia, who ever-so-politely asked why I'd switched my comments to "moderation", and would I please be so kind as to approve her comments?

This confoozled me, as I didn't recall there being a "moderation" option on Haloscan.

Imagine my shock, then, when I go to Haloscan and find that, yes, there is a "moderation" setting and that somehow, it had been activated.

So I take back all the horrible dark thoughts I was thinking about most of you (the rest of you know who you are and what you've done). It's fixed, or it better be. Comment away, people!


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Hold That Body!

Habeas corpus is a damn important legal principle. It's Latin, short for habeas corpus ad subjiciendum, "You (shall) have/hold the body to be subjected to (examination)". It means, basically, that if you're holding someone in a jail, you've got to go in front of a judge so the judge can determine if they're supposed to be there. Habeas corpus is the basis of our legal system - every person gets their day in court, and they're supposed to get equal consideration. In principle, that's how it works. In practice, not always so well, but with a couple of exceptions (Lincoln in the Civil War and Grant in the 1870s), it's been what you might call a bedrock principle of our system.

It should come as no surprise that, to some in the GOP, it's not really that important.

Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) introduced an amendment last week to suspend the right of habeas corpus for "detainees" at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Apparently, he and Senator Jon Kyl (R-AZ) are mortally offended that American lawyers have the audacity to demand that the men and boys at Guantanamo Bay get a chance to challenge their detention. After all, it's just a bunch of terrorists down there, right? Who gives a fuck if some muslim has to suffer a little to protect America? They're all guilty, right?

Wrong
.
As the Senate prepared to vote Thursday to abolish the writ of habeas corpus, Sens. Lindsey Graham and Jon Kyl were railing about lawyers like me. Filing lawsuits on behalf of the terrorists at Guantanamo Bay. Terrorists! Kyl must have said the word 30 times.

As I listened, I wished the senators could meet my client Adel.

Adel is innocent. I don't mean he claims to be. I mean the military says so. It held a secret tribunal and ruled that he is not al Qaeda, not Taliban, not a terrorist. The whole thing was a mistake: The Pentagon paid $5,000 to a bounty hunter, and it got taken.

The military people reached this conclusion, and they wrote it down on a memo, and then they classified the memo and Adel went from the hearing room back to his prison cell. He is a prisoner today, eight months later. And these facts would still be a secret but for one thing: habeas corpus.

Only habeas corpus got Adel a chance to tell a federal judge what had happened. Only habeas corpus revealed that it wasn't just Adel who was innocent -- it was Abu Bakker and Ahmet and Ayoub and Zakerjain and Sadiq -- all Guantanamo "terrorists" whom the military has found innocent.
Innocents are being held at Guantanamo. Men and boys who have committed no crime, whose only fault is in being in the wrong place at the wrong time and speaking the wrong language and worshipping the wrong God. Not all of them - I'm certain that some, possibly most, of the detainees at Guantanamo are, as Bush calls them, "the worst of the worst", but no system of justice is perfect, and a system of justice that operates in secret is never going to be accurate or reliable.

Removing the right of the men and boys being held in chain-link cages to challenge their detention is evil. Evil, pure and simple. It might masquerade as concern for the safety of America, or as trust in the effectiveness of the secret tribunals favored by that model of honesty and courage Donald Rumsfeld, but it's neither. It's an evil, evil act. It chips away at the foundations of our legal system, again, not a perfect system, but one that in general protects the innocent and punishes the guilty. If detainees at Guantanamo Bay don't deserve the same protections as murderers in the US, sooner or later, someone will propose that murderers, or drug dealers or tax cheats don't really need those protections either, and our legal system will, step by step, become arbitrary instead of impartial. It's not a slippery slope - there will be many, many opportunities to reverse course, but the best time to stop a flood is when it's still a small trickle, not when it's a raging torrent.

The GOP-led assault on our rights has to be stopped. Call your senator and rip into 'em. Write your newspaper. Talk to your friends and co-workers. Don't let them get away with this.


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Monday, November 14, 2005
 
360 Children Can't Be Wrong, Can They?

Most of you no doubt have memories of the infamous McMartin Preschool Case, in which hundreds of children that currently or formerly attended a preschool owned by the McMartin family in Manhatten Beach, CA claimed to have been sexually abused by the owners and teachers at the school. That case helped open the floodgates of a nationwide hysteria over "satanic ritual abuse" and "repressed memories".

For almost a decade, prosecutors attempted to convict members of the McMartin family of sex abuse charges, charges backed up by no physical evidence and complete with stories of levitation, secret (and nonexistent) tunnels, giraffe murder and Chuck Norris. Ray Buckey spent 5 years in jail despite never having been convicted of anything. The initial accusations kicked off a massive witch hunt, a publicity orgy unrivalled until the heyday of the OJ Simpson trial. The wrapup, of course, was that it was all bullshit. No children were molested at the McMartin School, by the teachers or by Chuck Norris. The mother that sparked the hysteria was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia the same year she got the ball rolling, but that never got mentioned in the news.

It was determined later (far too late, IMO) that the children providing such graphic testimony were being coercively interrogated and coached. The lack of physical evidence was explained away by prosecutors and "therapists" intent upon backing up a case that had grown too large to be dropped without uncomfortable questions being asked.

Why am I discussing this now? A couple of reasons. First, one of the children in the McMartin case has written a moving account of his involvement and its effect upon his life. The second is that I'm fascinated by the life of its own that case took - those involved in law enforcement and in the prosecution were unwilling to reevaluate the case no matter how outlandish the "facts", because to do so would mean having to admit that they were wrong.

I could draw some very obvious parallels between this case and current events, but I'll leave those as an exercise for the diligent reader. The McMartin Case, and far too many like it, serve to remind us that it's imperative that we always check our facts, check them again, then check them a third time. Measure twice and cut once, as the saying goes.


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Sunday, November 13, 2005
 
Two By Two

Yoinked this from Marvin.

Two Names You Go By
1. Adam
2. AC

Two Parts of Your Heritage
1. Redneck
2. German

Two Things That Scare You
1. My kids getting hurt
2. Theocratic Fuckmonkey Tinpot Fascism

Two Everyday Essentials
1. Hot tea
2. A nice, relaxing shit

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. Black converse hi-tops
2. A t-shirt from my Cafepress store.

Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists
1. The Clumsy Lovers
2. Beau Hall

Two Things You Want in a Relationship
1. Promiscuous book-swapping
2. Pie

Two Truths
1. There's always time to stop and take a piss.
2. Even if it's in a Coke bottle that you cap and toss out the window of the car at 60 MpH.

Two things You Hate (or at least really dislike)
1. Theocratic fuckmonkey tinpot fascists.
2. Stepping on Legos barefoot at 2AM.

Two physical features that Appeal to You
1. A quirky smile
2. Earlobes

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. RPGs (games, not Soviet-era antivehicle weapons)
2. Books in combination with comfy chairs

Two Things You Want Really Badly
1. Good beer
2. A really well-made rapier

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. Brittany - a nice cottage we could stay in and self-cater
2. Wales. Again.

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. Punch Jerry Falwell smack inna mouth, knocking at least 2 teeth out and making him cry like the big, fat titty-baby he is
2. Go into orbit

Two Ways that you are stereotypically a Chick/Guy
1. I drink milk straight from the carton/jug, then wipe my mouth on my sleeve
2. I think every holiday is improved by large quantities of fireworks

Two Things You Normally Wouldn't Admit
1. I've never actually made it all the way through anything by William Faulkner.
2. I still have Walter Mitty-esque daydreams on a pretty regular basis.

Two people I would like to see take this quiz
1. Melissa
2. My younger brother


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Boy George Speaks The Truth

When Boy George got up to shovel some bullshit on Friday, he accidentally slipped some truth into his speech.
While it's perfectly legitimate to criticize my decision or the conduct of the war, it is deeply irresponsible to rewrite the history of how that war began.
Then, realizing he'd managed to be honest for once, he continued on with the lies and smears:
Some Democrats and anti-war critics are now claiming we manipulated the intelligence and misled the American people about why we went to war. These critics are fully aware that a bipartisan Senate investigation found no evidence of political pressure to change the intelligence community's judgments related to Iraq's weapons programs.
Now, how could a bipartisan Senate panel do that, when it hasn't even been convened yet? The much-awaited "Phase 2" of the investigation into the mAdministration's war claims has been stalled for a couple of years now, thanks to Pat Roberts. No investigation, no conclusion. Unless we've slipped into Wonderland, where he get the sentence first and then the trial.

Another little thingie - you know the much-ballyhooed talking point that
...more than a hundred Democrats in the House and the Senate -- who had access to the same intelligence -- voted to support removing Saddam Hussein from power.
Well, seems that's fundamentally untrue. On October 5, 2001, Bush issued an executive order limiting access to intelligence information to the Speaker of the House, House Minority Leader, Senate Majority Leader, Senate Minority Leader, and chairmen and ranking members of the House and Senate intelligence committees. A total of 8 members of Congress. That means most Democrats did not have access to the same information.

Fucking liar. But who's really surprised by that?


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Saturday, November 12, 2005
 
Marse George Would Like His Negroes To Pick Up Their Food At The Back Door, Thank You Very Much

Tone deaf.

George Bush can't even manage a visit to Howard University without fucking things up.
On a day when the U.S. Senate passed a resolution paying tribute to civil rights icon Rosa Parks, who died last week, campus security guards were telling students that if they wanted to eat they'd have to come back when the president and first lady were gone, then go to a service door at the rear of the dining hall and ask for a chicken plate to go.

...

Howard is not some hotbed of political activism. The biggest event of the year is homecoming, which features two fashion shows, a step show and lots of hip-hop celebrities. As the rapper Ludacris put it in his summer hit, "Pimpin' All Over the World":

Jump in the car and ride for hours,

Makin' sure I don't miss the homecoming at Howard.


To set off a student protest at this school, you'd have to be politically tone-deaf in the extreme, out of touch and flying blind. And yet, Bush did it.
Today's GOP: Boldly leading us back to the 19th Century.


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Friday, November 11, 2005
 
Going Off On The Creationists - Again

OK, so despite a fan request for a rant on the unIntelligent Design morons, I was disinclined to do it - I mean, I've gone off on the fucking morons kind of recently, and I just didn't know if I had enough spleen left at the moment.

Then I came across a couple of things. First, of course, was Pat Robertson's threats of divine retribution against Dover, PA. Then, driving home, I heard this report on NPR about the trials and tribulations of so-called "Intelligent Design" advocates in academia.

I'm gonna take care of Nutjob Pat first.
"I’d like to say to the good citizens of Dover. If there is a disaster in your area, don’t turn to God, you just rejected Him from your city. And don’t wonder why He hasn’t helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I’m not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that’s the case, don’t ask for His help because he might not be there.”
Now, I'm not a Christian. Haven't been for quite a number of years, but I know a lot of 'em. A lot of 'em. My parents, my wife, her parents, dozens of family friends. The Christians I know - and several of 'em are more intensely trained in theology than Rev. Monkeyfuck - aren't really into that whole "God as Don Corleone" school of theology. Robertson is a sick, sick man - he's blamed gays and feminists for 9/11, faggots for hurricanes and Charles Darwin for the Soviet Union. He's a lowlife scam artist, doing half-assed cold readings on the air and dispensing "healing" as he tells his gullible viewers that JEEE-ZUS wants them to give him all their fucking money so he can smuggle more diamonds out of Africa while pretending to help orphans. That the GOP listens to one damn thing he has to say tells me more than I care to know about the corrupt nature of the national leadership of that party. That Pat Robertson has one goddamn dime to his name tells me everything I need to know about the sociopathic nature of the evangelical movement in this country.

Moving on, in my typically disjointed fashion, to NPR. It was a pretty well-done report, detailing the complaints of the unIntelligent Design goobers and then pointing out the reality of their complaints in interviews with real scientists. ID is a concept that can be classified as science only if one completely rewrites the definition of science. This is part of what the great state of Kansas did - redefined "science" such that it now, in Kansas schools, is not limited to natural explantions for natural phenomena. What kind of pathetic "scientific" theory depends on changing the rules before it works? The ID titty-babies whine because their work isn't taken seriously, but they can't even get it peer-reviewed. As a theory, it's not testable - it's really nothing more than a list of "gaps" in the record of evolutionary theory. Another telling fact is that ID proponents are, each and every one of them, Christians and Jews. No Hindus, Shintoists, Atheists, Satanists, Pagans, Wiccans, Animists, Shamanists or Sikhs need apply. When a bunch of ID nutjobs get together, the room's got more bibles than biology texts. ID is, as so many, many others have pointed out, an attempt to put the lipstick of reason on the pig of creationism. Teaching ID as science is like teaching D.W. Griffith's Birth of a Nation as history - it's wrong, wrong, wrong. It's like using Kirby and Simon's Captain America comics from the 1940s as history texts: "The Normandy Invasion could not have succeeded had it not been for the courageous actions of Captain America and his sidekick Bucky as they fought the Red Skull and Baron Zemo on the cliffs of Calais and destroyed the German Vortex Cannon, which was poised to wipe out the Allied fleet. On the home front, The Shadow and Doc Savage kept Nazi and Japanese spy rings at bay, and it was thanks to The Green Hornet and Kato that Nazi attempts to sabotage The Manhatten Project came to naught." Sure, the kids would feel like they'd learned something really interesting, but they wouldn't be learning the facts, and they wouldn't learn the critical methods necessary to distinguish between reality and made-up wishful thinking.

unID proponents claim that they're denied tenure if they espouse their beliefs, but I'm sure they wouldn't have a problem if an English professor didn't get tenure because they were teaching Esperanto. If you're hired to teach biology, you teach biology. ID is not biology - it's mystical mumbo-jumbo, it's a cheat - rather than learn how things happen, ID propenents just say, "And then God AN UNKNOWN POWER WITH DIVINE ABILITIES PERFORMED A MIRACLE!" That ain't science, kids. That's laziness. As I've said before, it doesn't matter one damn bit how many people believe Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church. That doesn't make it so. As the Soviets learned, the fact that Comrade Lysenko had Stalin's ear didn't mean his "theories" of genetics were right. Tens of millions of Soviet citizens starved to death because Lysenkoism became the offical party line and scientists were shipped off to the gulags for daring to speak out in favor of real science. You can't change reality by legislative fiat, no matter how desperately you wish it.

So-called "Intelligent Design" is Lysenkoism, plain and simple. It's not based in reality, and it's not real science.


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Thursday, November 10, 2005
 
With Their Own Words, They Damn Themselves

As I reported earlier
, the US Army did, in fact, use WP rounds against targets in Fallujah. White Phosphorus is an indiscriminate weapon - even "carefully targeted", it spreads a poisonous, burning cloud for about a tenth of a mile around the impact site. So my suspicions were correct, and the beliefs of the rest of the world are reinforced. The only WMD in Iraq are the ones the US is using on civilians.

Way to go, guys!

Good thing we're getting some good PR out of our help in the earthquake zone in Pakistan, then, right? I mean, surely, with Pakistan being such an important partner in the War On TerraTerror, we're dropping some major fucking bucks providing food, shelter and medical help to the victims of that horrible quake.

'Cause otherwise, we're just giving more ammo to our enemies, and no one would be that stupid, would they?


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Wednesday, November 09, 2005
 
And Fuck You, Too

Texans proved by a 3-to-1 margin yesterday that they share the same ideals on marriage as the Ku Klux Klan. Fuck you, you goddamn bigots.

And if you voted in favor of Proposition 2, you're a bigot. I'm not going to mince words here. If you voted to keep gays and lesbians from enjoying the same priveleges as straight people, you're a motherfucking bigot whether you wear a white robe or not. Don't give me any mealy-mouthed bullshit about how you've got gay friends, or you think civil unions are maybe OK but that marriage is a different thing. You're a goddamn motherfucking bigot, and I can't really respect you all that much.

This fight isn't over, but it's going to get a whole fuck of a lot uglier. I, for one, am looking forward to it. I'm for exposing the sordid, nasty secrets of every motherfucking supporter of this bill - the alcoholics, the wife-beaters, the adulterers, the porn addicts, the ones that crusade against gays by day and cruise at night - all of 'em. If your marriages are so goddamn precious you can't bear the thought of faggots and dykes tainting 'em by association, let's see all the motherfucking details. Dig it up, spread it out for everyone to see.

Fuck you. Just... just fuck you.

Fucking bigots.


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Tuesday, November 08, 2005
 
So Does This Bother Anyone Else?

Italian news agency reports US troops used white phosphorus on civilians in Fallujah.
RAI News 24's investigative story, Fallujah, The Concealed Massacre, will be broadcast tomorrow on RAI-3 and will contain not only eye-witness accounts by US military personnel but those from Fallujah residents. "A rain of fire descended on the city. People who were exposed to those multicolored substance began to burn. We found people with bizarre wounds-their bodies burned but their clothes intact," relates Mohamad Tareq al-Deraji, a biologist and Fallujah resident.

"I gathered accounts of the use of phosphorus and napalm from a few Fallujah refugees whom I met before being kidnapped," says Manifesto reporter Giuliana Sgrena, who was kidnapped in Fallujah last February, in a recorded interview. "I wanted to get the story out, but my kidnappers would not permit it."
Here's a link to the video report.

This is after many other reports of atrocities against civilians in Fallujah, so I'm left thinking that, even if this is a false report, or mistaken in some or all details, no one's really going to believe us. I mean, our Vice President is so gung-ho on torture that it's a wonder he's not doing it himself on national TV. The head of the Senate "Intelligence" Committee thinks torture is A-OK, because it shows them dirty ragheads who's boss. Every single rationale for war in Iraq has been proven false, and we're looking at a decades-long occupation of Iraq if we go by the timetables of the misAdministration.

Who in the world will care if the US didn't use napalm and white phosphorus on women and children? We've made ourselves guilty by the overwhelming evidence of our actions. We've made ourselves into the Evil Empire.

Chickens coming home to roost.


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Monday, November 07, 2005
 
Pants On Fire

What a fucking liar.
President Bush vigorously defended U.S. interrogation practices in the war on terror Monday and lobbied against a congressional drive to outlaw torture.

"There's an enemy that lurks and plots and plans and wants to hurt America again," Bush said. "So you bet we will aggressively pursue them but we will do so under the law."

He declared, "We do not torture."
Fucking liar. I suppose I should be glad that Bush hasn't got any blowjobs in the Oval Office, instead of getting all worked up over the American Gulag, the American Inquisition or George Bush and Dick Cheney's public opposition to proposals to specifically and categorically outlaw torture by American soldiers and covert agents.

I mean, a blowjob - that's some serious shit, right? Two adults, getting together to make each other feel good - we can't have that going on. Might lead to relaxation, and logical decision-making. Nosireebob, we need to stamp that shit right the fuck out, but it's perfectly OK to subject innocent cab drivers from Afghanistan to beatings, verbal abuse, shackling them to the floor and leaving them to shiver for a couple of days in a puddle of their own shit and piss. That's fine. Shoving chemical light sticks up the asses of Iraqi men and boys that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time? NO PROBLEM! Whaling on some fuckin' raghead mullah with a Louisville Slugger? Where's the crime in that? We're in a war here, pal - a War on Terra TERROR, and if we have to, you know, terrorize some people, and disappear their husbands and brothers, and lock 'em away without charges or a trial for a few years, and beat a few of 'em to death and torture the rest of 'em and shatter their psyches, well, you can't make an omelette without breakin' a few eggs, right?

So I don't know, really, why I'm so upset about the United States being in the illegal detention, war crimes and torture business. We're the biggest, ballsiest motherfuckers on the goddamn block, and the little folks oughtta just get the fuck out of our way before we squash em.

Fuck you very much to everyone that voted for the sick sons of bitches in power right now. I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate your support of them.

But give me 45 minutes with some pliers and a fuckin' baseball bat, and I could get a good start on it...


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Sunday, November 06, 2005
 
McCain Earning Back A Little Respect

John McCain has vowed to add an anti-torture amendment to every piece of legislation until it is made into law.
Speaking from the Senate floor, McCain said, "If necessary - and I sincerely hope it is not - I and the co-sponsors of this amendment will seek to add it to every piece of important legislation voted on in the Senate until the will of a substantial bipartisan majority in both houses of Congress prevails. Let no one doubt our determination."
About time. McCain's toed the Party Line a little too long for me to be entirely comfortable with him - his willingness to publicly embrace Bush during the Swift Boating of Kerry in '04 cost him a lot of my respect - but he's on a path to earn a little back.

I still find it repugnant that in the early years of the 21st Century, the President and Vice President of the United States still advocate treating prisoners like we were in the goddamn Middle Ages. Sauce for the goose, sauce for the gander, I sez. A little waterboarding and I bet Turdblossom'd come clean about his treason lickety-split. I'll call Mr. Fitzgerald.


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Saturday, November 05, 2005
 
... th' FUCK?

Ethel the Frog posted this, and I'll warn you - it reads like the setup to a joke, but it ain't. The only joke is on the American people, and the punchline is a kick in the face.
President Bush has ordered White House staff to attend mandatory briefings beginning next week on ethical behavior and the handling of classified material after the indictment last week of a senior administration official in the CIA leak probe.

According to a memo sent to aides yesterday, Bush expects all White House staff to adhere to the "spirit as well as the letter" of all ethics laws and rules. As a result, "the White House counsel's office will conduct a series of presentations next week that will provide refresher lectures on general ethics rules, including the rules of governing the protection of classified information," according to the memo, a copy of which was provided to The Washington Post by a senior White House aide.
Yep - Harriet Miers, who thinks Boy George is the most brilliantest Preznit EVAH, is going to lecture the staff of the White House - the White House that brought us Swift Boating, war based on lies, smear politics as S.O.P., torture, willful and wholesale violations of international law, Stalinist control of public information and worked hand-in-hand with Bill "Blind Trust" Frist and Tom "Bugfucker" DeLay - she's going to lecture them on ethics.

I'm dizzy.


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Friday, November 04, 2005
 
Friday Five - Now With A Secret Blend Of Herbs And Spices

This week, Dan asks:
What are your five favorite spices?
Spices are good. Their high value per weight made them a critical item of trade in the Middle Ages, and many spices were worth more than their weight in gold. Today, of course, almost anyone in the West can go to the grocery store and for a relative pittance, buy a quantity of spices that would have bankrupted many a Medieval noble. Power to the people, baby - take that, ancient fatcats!

I myself am partial to the hotter flavors - the more capsaicin, as a general rule, the better - but I'm not going to rule out other spices. I'm also going to broaden the definition of "spice" for the purposes of this blog entry to include anything found on the spice aisle at the grocery.

(1) Salt - Since the beginning of recorded history, we've needed salt. It's been a medium of exchange, the basis or wars and migrations. Nowadays, it's literally cheap as dirt and we use it without thinking. Because, really, you can eat french fries without ketchup (or mayonnaise, if you're one of those sickos), but unsalted? I don't think so. Unsalted crackers? Bo-ring! It's the ur-spice, the base upon which all other flavors are built.

(2) Pepper - Called "The King of Spices", pepper is just one of the gifts the Indian subcontinent has given us. Attila and Alaric demanded pepper as ransom from Rome, and desire to control pepper was part of the impetus behind the growth of Venice and Genoa. Pepper gives a little kick to everything, and I use it to "hot up" dishes that don't need a full-bore kick.

(3) Which brings us to Cayenne - I likes me some cayenne pepper. I put it in soups, on pizza, on cheese toast - it's just that good. When my sinuses are completely clogged and I feel like my head's about to explode, I make some chili and dump in a couple tablespoons of ground cayenne pepper and BOOYA, I can breathe again. Good, good stuff.

(4) Cinnamon is proof that I'm not just about the spicy stuff. I've loved the smell of cinnamon since I was a little kid - at Christmas, my mother made mulled cider and served it with quills of cinnamon in the cups. The smell of apples and cinnamon still takes me back, and I associate cinnamon with safety and comfort.

(5) Vanilla, sweet vanilla. It just barely edges out peppermint, primarily because I love to put just a wee bit of vanilla in my chocolate milkshakes. When we're out of chocolate syrup, the kids ask for vanilla milk.

Honorable mention goes to: Peppermint, paprika, chili powder, ginger, sesame, saffron and oregano.

The other Friday Fivers have stationed themselves along the Spice Road, and can be found here.


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Thursday, November 03, 2005
 
Why I Love Austin

The music is nice, though I don't get out to it near enough (I'm looking rather shamefacedly in your direction, Julie). The rest of the arts scene is cool, too, and there's the restaurants and the warm winters (I'll refrain from mentioning the summers, 'cause I'm talking about what I like) and the progressive politics.

The best thing, for me, is the sense of whimsy that permeates our politics. Every city's got its own tone, and Austin's not the only city with a taste for the surreal in its politics, but Austin's where I live and where I plan to stay (at least until they build an O'Neill habitat at L5). We've had a cross-dressing homeless guy capture 4% of the vote for mayor most recently, and every other year, we get inspired by the antics of the Texas Lege, the best free show in town.

I've mentioned before that the KKK is coming to town this Saturday to rally in support of Proposition 2, what I affectionately call The Hate Amendment. I had planned to head downtown and shout the Klan down, but I found out this morning that some folks came up with a better idea.

They call it Full Moon Over The Klan, and I like it!
What the Klan wants is a photo op complete with angry, yelling citizens to scare conservative voters to the polls. What we are planning to do is get into the background of as many media shots as possible so their hate cannot be broadcast on the nightly news. As "turning the other cheek" is a recognized true Christian value, we believe this is a message those Klansters will understand.


It would be easy to give them what they want.
It would be easy to shake my fist and holler.
It will be harder to shake my ass in their general direction,
but it will be better than feeding into their media strategy.
Local musician Steve Fromholz organized the First Mooning Of the Klan back in 1993, and inspired a wonderful column from Molly Ivins:
So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was.
When things look the most bleak, there's always something that gives me just enough hope in my country to keep going. In the long run, the bastard people can't win. Between the prospect of mooning a bunch of racist Nazi-fellating cross-dressers and the delicious sight of Bill Frist getting his nuts caught in a vise by Harry Reid, life is lookin' pretty OK right now.

Nils carborundum illegitimi, right?


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Wednesday, November 02, 2005
 
listen: there's a hell of a good universe next door; let's go

With apologies to e e cummings .

I'm giving the Universe official notice. If it doesn't shape the fuck up right the fuck now, I will move next door to the universe that has free ice cream. Who's with me?


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Tuesday, November 01, 2005
 
The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

Why is it that right after the time change in October, I always get a fucking cold? Don't I suffer enough with the kids' sleep schedules being all screwed up by the time change? Is it asking too much that I be able to sleep and breathe? Is that so wrong?

Fuckin' germs. We hates them, we hates them forever.


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