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Sunday, December 31, 2006
Resolutions Every year, I fail to keep most or all of them, and every year I promise to scale back. So this year, I have 3: (1) Make some beer (2) Make some cheese (3) Keep eating healthy and not smoking. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 1:32:00 PM   | Saturday, December 30, 2006
Home. Home, home, home. Tired. James Brown and Gerald Ford died, and they hung Saddam. What else did I miss? posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 5:52:00 PM | Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Hello From Way Back In The 20th Century! I'm here in Farmerville, LA, just a few miles from Lake D'Arbonne State Park. There is no WiFi in the park, nor is there cell phone reception. The library here has 'net access, but it's the only place in town we've found so far. It's been a good vacation, for me - my parents are in the cabin next door, and my younger brother and his wife left yesterday morning to head back to Atlanta. The kids are having a blast - Drew, Fran and I saw an alligator in the lake last night (Fran insists it was HUUUUUGE!!!!!, I estimated it at about 3' long). I'll try to pop back in to town for more internet access tomorrow or Friday, then it's back home on Saturday. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:40:00 AM | Friday, December 22, 2006
Happy Holidakwanzaannakuhmasolstice I'll be out of town starting tomorrow, with little or no internet access, so I'm passing along holiday wishes to all my readers. If I left out your faith's winter/solstice celebration, find a place to stick it in the title above and do so. If you're Bill O'Reilly (and I'm still waiting to make your "enemies" list, asshole), just find a place to stick it and do so. Once again, I go into Christmas hoping that this year, I'll finally get that goddamn pony. Let's see if I'm disappointed yet again, shall we? posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 6:30:00 PM | Thursday, December 21, 2006
Har.
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 5:28:00 AM | Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Say It Ain't So, Joe! We are a nation of sexual deviants. Yep, immoral sexual deviants. Over 95% of American adults have had premarital sex. That's not just the kids today, with their sexual experimentation - that goes all the way back to women born in 1940. So what's that we hear about the Good Old Days being so much more innocent and pure than our modern age of sin and decadence? ::snorts derisively:: Seems the only difference between now and then is that we're honest about it. That 95% - that covers more than just immoral, elitist eggheads at colleges and universities, and even if you add in "urban" welfare mothers (after all, don't you know those people have nothing to do but have sex?) that's not enough. No, that 95% includes some of the very people insisting that the government should drop $165 million every year on "abstinence-only-until-marriage" programs. That 95% includes, I am sure, some very devout followers of Lynne Cheney, Pat Robertson, James Dobson and the rest of the Anti-Fucking League. Think about it - think of any 10 prominent Republicans. At least 9 of them, the odds are, got a little sweet lovin' action before they put on their fancy clothes and walked down the aisle. Hypocrisy - it's what's for dinner, you dig? posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 11:00:00 AM | Tuesday, December 19, 2006
It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time... Woman tells cop she bought 'bad crack': HAWTHORNE, Fla.- A North Carolina woman was arrested after complaining to a police officer that the crack cocaine she had just purchased wasn't very good, authorities said. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 4:50:00 PM | Monday, December 18, 2006
Melissa's Christmas Column I'm Tellin' You Why Considering how much deceit parents engage in at Christmas time, perhaps the line in "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" ought to be you'd better not lie, you'd better not pout. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 11:23:00 AM | Saturday, December 16, 2006
Bill O'Reilly: Making Cretins The World Over Look Smarter It never fails. Never. The minute I think Bill O'Reilly has sunk about as far into toilet-drinking, shit-eating stupidity as a human being can go, he proves me wrong again. The latest? Dig this: On the December 13 edition of Fox News' The O'Reilly Factor, Bill O'Reilly dismissed scientific research on same-sex parenting to assert that "[n]ature dictates that a dad and a mom is the optimum" form of child-rearing. O'Reilly asked "why," if children suffer no psychosocial deficit from being raised by same-sex parents, "wouldn't nature then make it that anybody could get pregnant by eating a cupcake?" O'Reilly declared that by arguing in favor of same-sex couples' right to raise children, "you're taking Mother Nature and you're throwing it right out the window, and I just think it's crazy."No, really - he actually said that! Let's not even mention O'Reilly's flip-flop on Mary Cheney - when John Kerry spoke of her in a respectful fashion in a debate in 2004, he was all OMFG! T3H EV0L LIBRUZ R HATIN MARY!!! Now that Mary Cheney's announced she's expecting (and I'll save my feelings on Ms. Quisling for later), he's suddenly terribly concerned for the well-being of Mary's baby and feels compelled to dedicate a show to her uterus. O'Reilly's proof of what happens when siblings marry. I guess conservatives do have a purpose in our society, though - we need someone to remind us why it's important to keep our kids from eating lead paint chips. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 4:02:00 PM | Thursday, December 14, 2006
Cool News From The World of Science Mountains - on Titan! The international Cassini spacecraft spotted a nearly mile-high mountain range shrouded in hazy clouds on Saturn's giant moon Titan, scientists reported Tuesday.I was in a pretty down mood this week after hearing that the white Yangtze dolphin was extinct, but this is pretty damn spiffy. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 12:13:00 PM | Wednesday, December 13, 2006
I Bow In The Presence Of A Master I dream of someday being able to rant half as well as the great Henry Rollins: WARNING: Henry uses some very naughty words, like "democracy" and "freedom". Readers that came to this blog from the Washington Post's trackback link should be warned that Henry uses some other words that make Baby Jesus cry. He's one of those dirty, unwashed hippies that live Outside The Beltway, and doesn't much care for their "rules" of "civil discourse". posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 6:49:00 AM | Tuesday, December 12, 2006
What The Fucking FUCK? From the Washington Post: A Dictator's Double Standard AUGUSTO PINOCHET, who died Sunday at the age of 91, has been vilified for three decades in and outside of Chile, the South American country he ruled for 17 years.It starts off OK. Mr. Pinochet was brutal: More than 3,000 people were killed by his government and tens of thousands tortured... Thousands of others spent years in exile.All true. Here's where it veers into Crazy-Talk Land: It's hard not to notice, however, that the evil dictator leaves behind the most successful country in Latin America.The gist of this "editorial" ("insane screed squeezed out of some idiot's ass" is more accurate, though longer-winded) is that, sure, Pinochet was a monster and responsible for torture, rape and murder in his own country and a sponsor of terrorist acts in other nations, and yeah, he stole tens of millions of dollars from his nation, and brokered a sweetheart deal that kept him immune from prosecution for the last decade of his rotten, twisted life, but that's OK, because he did all this wonderful "free market" stuff. It reminds me of the child-free people that so condescendingly tell me that what I need to do is spank my children more - "After all, my dad spanked me, and hey! I turned out just fine!" Two questions come to my mind when I hear this: What makes you think you're "just fine"? and What makes you think I want my kids to be like you? The editorialist does offer a nice straw man as comparison - Fidel Castro is cited as an example of what would have happened to Chile had Salvador Allende not been overthrown. What the editorialist fails to mention is that Cuba has been subject to a trade embargo by the United States for most of the Castro era, and that efforts to normalize trade or relations with Cuba have consistently been stymied by a tiny, but rabidly insane, vocal and wealthy minority, mostly centered in Miami. Millions, if not billions, of dollars have been spent by the US to keep Castro as isolated as possible. Cuba's history is one of dictatorship and colonial status. Chile, on the other hand, has a rich history of democratic rule going back at least the early 1930s, if not further. The CIA, under the direction of LBJ and Nixon, spent the decade before Allende's overthrow trying to influence Chilean elections. After Allende's election in 1970, the US slapped a trade embargo on Chile and actively worked to sabotage Allende's diplomatic efforts as well as his economic reforms. Between 1963 and 1970, Chile received over $1 billion in US aid. These packages were discontinued after Allende's election. After 1973, covert and military aid to Chile skyrocketed and there is compelling evidence that the CIA gave tacit assent and assistance to Operation Condor. Military aid to Chile increased from $800,000 annually in 1970 to $10.9 million in 1972, during the time at which the CIA was fervently working to organize the overthrow of Allende. During Pinochet's reign, which oddly enough, ended shortly after the Cold War erased the supposed need for "Staunch Anti-Communists", the US continued to provide aid and assistance. Comparing Chile and Cuba isn't apples and oranges - it's apples and bricks. The editorialist above (Fred Hiatt, according to Matthew Yglesias) does everything but flat-out state that brutal, repressive right-wing dictatorships are A-OK, but we shouldn't trust those dirty socialists. I'm sorry - what was that about a "liberal media"? posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:13:00 AM | Monday, December 11, 2006
Adios, Mofo Augusto Pinochet died yesterday. While I'm not a believer in the concept of an afterlife, I'm willing to be intellectually inconsistent in this instance when I express my most fervent hope that Augusto Pinochet is burning in Hell right now. Pinochet was our monster in Chile - the US government of Richard Nixon actively worked to subvert the will of the people of Chile and, along with Margaret Thatcher's Britain, enthusiastically glossed over not just the horrors of Pinochet's dictatorship, but also the massive social inequality that resulted from the economic programs Pinochet instituted. Thousands of citizens of Chile were "disappeared" - often killed and buried two and three to an unmarked grave. Thousands more were interrogated and tortured, or fled the country. Potential opponents of Pinochet were targeted for assassination wherever they fled. Pinochet was a brutal dictator and thief, but never stood trial for his crimes. You'll forgive me, I hope, my irrational wish that somehow, he's being held to account for them. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:26:00 AM | Sunday, December 10, 2006
| Saturday, December 09, 2006
Blogger Beta? Not So Hot Right Now Tried to switch over to Blogger Beta this morning, and had a brilliant post - one that can, in fact, be read by those subbing to my blog's feed on LiveJournal - which unaccountably disappeared. Sometime later, I'll repost that entry. Now, off to make vanilla soda with the kids. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 11:27:00 AM | Friday, December 08, 2006
"Justice Delayed Is Justice Denied" So said U.S. District Judge Gladys Kessler today. Judge Kessler was quoting William Gladstone, but she was speaking of Hamid al-Razak, an Afghan detainee at Guantanamo Bay. The context is simple: the Justice Department asked her to dismiss Hamid al-Razak's complaints and to bar him from ever seeking redress again. In her response, Judge Kessler's frustration at the government's stalling tactics and indefinite imprisonment of hundreds of men without charge or trial shows through. She wrote a blunt response that condemns in no uncertain terms the shameful treatment of prisoners at Guantanamo Bay. The Petitioner . . . identifies the legal, cultural, and psychological isolation in which the detainee exists which demonstrate his inability to challenge the legality of his detention. They are as follows:I'm not so naive as to think that Waterboard Al's so-called "Justice" Department is going to change its tune based solely on this, but it's one more voice and one more blow against the corrupt, torture-happy gang of sociopathic monsters that Boy George has enabled. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 12:12:00 PM | Thursday, December 07, 2006
Venting OK, so if you want someone to attend a meeting, it's customary to give them:
It's both of those for me. No wonder my ass hurts. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 7:47:00 AM | Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Cry Me A Fucking River, Titty-babies US House of Representatives forced to work FIVE DAYS A WEEK! Forget the minimum wage. Or outsourcing jobs overseas. The labor issue most on the minds of members of Congress yesterday was their own: They will have to work five days a week starting in January.About time. Hell, for what we pay them, they ought to work at least 6 days per week. 12 hour days, too - at least until they've fixed all the stuff they've fucked up. ...For much of this election year, the legislative week started late Tuesday and ended by Thursday afternoon -- and that was during the relatively few weeks the House wasn't in recess.Well done, sir! The days of the Do-Nothingest Congress in US history have ended. The grownups are in charge now, so roll up your sleeves and get your asses to work. Sadly, not everyone in congress thinks this is a good idea: "Keeping us up here eats away at families," said Rep. Jack Kingston (R-Ga.), who typically flies home on Thursdays and returns to Washington on Tuesdays. "Marriages suffer. The Democrats could care less about families -- that's what this says."Awwww, poor little titty-baby. Most of us have to work our asses off to earn wages that are worth less and less every year, and you're complaining because you're going to finally have to do your job? If I were one of your constituents, I'd beat your ass cross-eyed for saying stupid shit like that. Here's the deal: the same people bitching about the schedule not only volunteered for this job, they spent thousands (if not millions) of dollars of their own and other peoples' money to get it. They're paid by the people of the United States to do a job, and right now, they're not doing it. I don't care if they've got Brownie meetings, or are missing a church social or if they simply can't get as much quality time on the golf course as they'd like. Their job - the job they fought like hell to get - is to legislate. For the last 6 years, Congress has been asleep on the job, cheerfully rubber stamping almost every stupid idea squeezed out of George Bush's festering rectum. Now, finally, the American people have made it clear they want a Congress that fulfills its Constitutionally-appointed mission. So I say to every member of the House that doesn't like the schedule: Shut the fuck up. There's people in this country that work a hell of a lot harder than you for a hell of a lot less money. You better get your asses in gear and make some progress, and actually working is a good way to start. Well done, Steny Hoyer and Nancy Pelosi. Keep the whiners in line, will you? posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 11:07:00 AM | Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Tangential Rant OK, this is annoying: Men's baby bag made from tires A U.S. handbag manufacturer is trying to make changing diapers a bit more macho -- with a baby bag made from truck and tractor tire inner tubes.Oh, goodness gracious me, yes! Finally! Men can proudly advertise that they're MANLY HE-MEN when they change a baby's diaper - no more worries that the guys might think you're a sissy, thanks to a MANLY DIAPER BAG. Puh-lease. To me, a break give. The kind of man that worries that a diaper bag undercuts his masculinity isn't manly at all. I'm very secure in my masculine credentials, and I had no problem carrying a diaper bag, pushing a stroller or changing a diaper with a single one of my kids (apart from my tendency to gag when confronted with a serious Antimatter Containment Unit Failure). I'm sick and tired of this double standard that applies to fathers. Any attention or time a father gives his family is lionized, lauded to the four corners of the earth. Mere adequacy as a parent is treated like it's the greatest thing on earth. Mothers, on the other hand, face constant attacks on their every decision. Going back to work? How could you do that to your children? You're letting them be raised by strangers! Staying home? What? Are you insane? Your children need to socialize! The "Drive-by Mommy" is a well-known phenomenon, in which mothers are expected to cheerfully accept every piece of parenting advice or criticism doled out by complete strangers, no matter how asinine the advice or clueless the advisor. In the grocery store, I've had someone tell me, "Your children are so well behaved!", then a few aisles later while Melissa's got the kids and I'm further down the aisle, seen Melissa get glares and heard the exact same person that complimented me earlier whisper to their companion, "Why doesn't she control those children? Honestly!" Regarding the diaper bag, if some man wants to spend $175 to advertise to the world, "I'm a big ol' chickenshit and I need accessories that broadcast my supposed masculinity and heterosexuality to everyone that sees me", that's fine. Knock yourself out there, dude. It's your money and it's a free country. Just get used to me laughing at you, just like I laugh at people that buy Cadillac SUVs, $300 martinis or hair transplants. Here's the deal: being a father is about more than showing off to the world that your penis functions and that you're still macho. If you're spending energy worrying about how masculine you look when you change a diaper, that's energy you should be giving to your kids and/or your marriage. Just be a father. Just be there for your kids and your spouse and pull your share of the weight. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:29:00 AM | Monday, December 04, 2006
So. Much. Stupid. Head... spinning... can't... stop... mocking... I mean, seriously. These assclowns have their priorities all in place. Conservative Students to Display “ACLU Nativity Scene” AUSTIN, TX – The Young Conservatives of Texas - University of Texas Chapter announced today that they will be displaying an “ACLU Nativity Scene” on the West Mall of the University of Texas campus on Monday and Tuesday, December 4th and 5th. The group’s intent is to raise awareness on the extremity of the ACLU, and bring to light its secular-progressive efforts to remove Christmas from the public sphere. The display, the first of its kind in the nation, will feature characters that are quite a bit different than the standard crèche.Oh, goody! A crèche! No-one ever does those. And in these days where it's legal for student organizations to set up their own religious/holiday displays, when Christianity is still regarded in some circles as the de facto state religion, in these troubled times when liberals have declared "War on Christmas" (as reported to us by that paragon of honesty and restraint Bill O'Reilly), it is imperative that these brave young men and women, selflessly sacrificing their wrists to the horrors of carpal tunnel syndrome so that the poor and minorities can go fight and be maimed in Iraq, be able to publicly express their religious beliefs in full accordance with the laws governing such displays! But hark! What's this? It's not a crèche per se... “We’ve got Gary and Joseph instead of Mary and Joseph in order to symbolize ACLU support for homosexual marriage, and of course there isn’t a Jesus in the manger,” said Chairman Tony McDonald. “The three Wise Men are Lenin, Marx, and Stalin because the founders of the ACLU were strident supporters of Soviet style Communism. The whole scene is a tongue-in-cheek way of showing the many ways that the ACLU and the far left are out of touch with the values of mainstream America.”Yes indeedy, the ACLU must be on the far fringes of American politics, with their outmoded and archaic respect for the rule of law, their tireless work to shore up the principle of freedom of speech. No, it's only fitting that the YCTs be allowed their display, especially since these sons and daughters of privelege suffer so many obstacles to the free and honest expression of their ideals. The scene will also display a terrorist shepherd and an angel in the form of Nancy Pelosi.O, how droll! How very clever, their biting satire! Why, it cuts, it does - cuts like a brick. Without saying in exactly so many words, they make clear the hideous agenda of the ACLu and their allies - their support for the pernicious qualities of freedom and plurality, their obvious love of both grandmothers from San Francisco as well as their wholehearted support for terrorists that Hate Our Freedom! Oh, thank you, Young Conservatives, for showing us the way! “The ACLU and other left-wing extremist groups are working diligently to destroy American’s rights to the free expression of religion,” said Executive Director Joseph Wyly. “We’ve already seen in Chicago an attempt to censor the nativity by a city government this week. It’s just more evidence that there is a War on Christmas being waged by the far-left in this country.”My GOD, what brave young men and women. Fighting on the front lines of the War On Christmas, they sacrifice their TV-And-Doritos time to boldly show us that the way to freedom lies not through respect for the principles upon which our nation was founded but through asinine demagoguery and above all else a courageous dedication to fostering lies, smears and half-assed attempts at humor. Young Conservatives of Texas, a non-partisan conservative youth organization, has been fighting for conservative values for more than a quarter century in the Lone Star State and publishes the most respected ratings of the Texas Legislature.Yes indeedy! They're incredibly non-partisan. Why, some day, they might endorse a Libertarian (but it'll have to be one of those Libertarians that doesn't believe in tomfoolery like legalized drugs or those pesky "social" liberties). Well done, Young Conservatives! You do more for your cause than you realize, and I thank you for it. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:11:00 AM | Sunday, December 03, 2006
T00BZ UNCLOGD. YAY. Time-Warner tech fixed the problem. And there was much rejoicing. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 3:43:00 PM | Saturday, December 02, 2006
This Is Me. Jonesing. Our internet connection at home has died. I'm borrowing some 'net access at the inlaws', about to head out to a fancy party. ARGH. PLS UNBLOCK INTERNETS TOOBZ KTHXBYE posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 6:47:00 PM | Friday, December 01, 2006
Wow! Guess I Was Wrong. Abstinence works! No, wait, I was wrong about being wrong. The dramatic declines in teenage pregnancy rates noted in the United States between 1995 and 2002 were largely due to improved contraceptive use, not to abstinence, a new study shows.Huh. Ain't that something? Telling teenagers to stop fucking is kind of like telling them to stop rolling their eyes when their parents tune the radio to the Oldies station and start singing along with "Build Me Up, Buttercup". Giving teenagers access to information and birth control, on the other hand, is like giving them an iPod so they can turn up the Gnarls Barkley and not have to listen to Dad crooning tunelessly. I wonder if this will make Bush change his mind about appointing an anti-birth control whackaloon to deputy assistant secretary for population affairs in the Department of Health and Human Services? If you think it will, I've got some magic beans you simply must buy. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 12:28:00 PM | Misplaced Priorities: Personal Edition Sometimes, I let being right in a discussion or argument get in the way of the important stuff. I'm working on it, though. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 7:35:00 AM | |
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