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Guess Where I'm Posting From!

Melissa and I are spending a night away from home, responsibility and the kids at a local hotel. So far, it's nice - champagne and chocolate covered strawberries in the room, a huge comfy bed loaded up with pillows and complimentary wi-fi. We're not able to use the hot tub or sauna, sadly, because Melissa bought a new (and really cute) swimsuit, but the stoopid cashier at the store neglected to take the security tag off, and there's no damn way we're leaving our hotel to drive halfway across town to the store to get it removed.

We're getting dolled up for a Grownup Night Out at the moment, and then it's off for drinks and jazz at a local bar, followed by some fantastic French cuisine and then maybe some smoochin'.

Talk among yourselves, but don't stain the carpet. I'm not paying to have it steam-cleaned again.
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 7:19:00 PM

 
Not Long Enough

This time sixteen years ago, my stomach was tied in knots. Part of this was leftover from my bachelor party two nights earlier, but most of it was just plain nerves. Everyone I knew, everyone in my family, plus all of Melissa's family and their friends, was in Birmingham for a wedding. Our wedding.

My mother seemed very calm, my father was a little tense (not that he didn't have reason, because he was going to perform the service) and I hadn't seen Melissa since the night before. All the rest of the day, I stewed and fretted while I posed for pictures, chatted with family and friends and fretted and stewed some more. Before the wedding ceremony, my father and my friends Gina (reading a poem during the wedding) and Brian (my best man, also singing) and I each took a shot of bourbon to steady our nerves, then it was on. We walked out and I stood there in the front of the church and then I saw her - Melissa and her father started down the aisle and everything in the room faded out except for her.

I don't remember much of the ceremony, because all I could focus on was Melissa. She was and still is the primary focus of my life.

For sixteen years, we've been together, through moves and miscarriages and grad school and three children and through some truly awful arguments and tight financial squeezes. For sixteen years, we've been too stubborn to give up on each other or our marriage.

I'm looking forward to the next 70, or 80, or 100 years.
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 7:24:00 AM

 
Whoa... Missed It Again

My blogoversary was last week, and I missed it. Glad I pay more attention to my wedding anniversaries, or I'd be in big trouble. Still, a chance to look back in that narcissistic way that the blogosphere is good for.

Anyhoo, it's been four years and a few days now. Over 79,000 hits, which ain't much compared to those Big Name Blogs, but it's nothing to sneeze at, either. About 2,263 posts and a metric buttload of words.

For a while, I was averaging better than a post per day. That's slowed down some, partly because I have less time and partly because I'm not using the blog as a cheap alternative to my meds (which, you'll be surprised to know, doesn't work all that well - Take Your Meds, Kids. Better living through chemistry and all that, wot?).

This blog has always been a catch-all - a little bit of personal stuff, some geekery and random news items and a sizeable chunk of political ranting.

I don't know where I'll be going from here, though the blog will continue. I enjoy blogging, despite its complete lack of financial rewards. Which reminds me - I am very interested in selling out to George Soros, MoveOn.org or any other Liberal Propoganda Machine entity looking for someone to front for them and assist in their insidious attempts to contaminate the Precious Bodily Fluids of America. My contact information is easy to find, please send one small sack of $20 bills as proof of your bona fides with any offer.
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 7:37:00 AM

 
A Model City

The example of Tal Afar gives me confidence in our strategy, because in this city we see the outlines of the Iraq that we and the Iraqi people have been fighting for: a free and secure people who are getting back on their feet, who are participating in government and civic life, and who have become allies in the fight against the terrorists. - George W. Bush in a speech given in Cleveland, OH on March 20, 2006

Wow. I can really get a good picture of what the President's talking about there.

At least 45 Sunni men have been killed by off-duty police officers enraged at bombings targeting the Shia community, police and security officials said today.

The shootings in Tal Afar, a city in the north-west of Iraq, were an apparent revenge attack for yesterday's bombings that killed at least 63 people in a Shia district.

The officers were said to have started roaming around Sunni neighbourhoods on foot early in the morning, shooting at Sunni residents and homes, the Associated Press reported.

The shootings continued for more than two hours, officials said, before Iraqi army troops moved into the Sunni areas to stop the violence.

Police said dozens of Sunnis were killed or wounded, but they had no precise figures. A senior hospital official in Tal Afar said at least 45 men aged 15 to 60 were killed with shots to the back of the head, and four others were wounded.

OK, so help me sort this out - the Sunnis are the bad guys, because they're all pissed off at us for deposing Saddam Hussein, right? So that means the Shiites were helping us, kind of. But the Shiites are the bad guys, because they're getting support from Iran, which is making Weapons Of Mass Destruction. Which means the Sunnis helped us out by killing the Shiites to begin with, right? But then the Sunnis are getting help from Al Qaeda, which means they're the bad guys...

Trying to figure out what, exactly, we're doing in Iraq now - 'bout makes your head spin, don't it?

Fortunately, the Preznit wants to keep us in Iraq for a while longer, so we can make more Iraqi cities models of democracy and civic virtue, just like Tal Afar.
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:32:00 AM

 
Melissa's Latest Column

Play Like A Girl
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 12:55:00 PM

 
Movies Seen

It was a movie weekend for me - I took Franny and one of her school friends to see The Last Mimzy on Saturday, then went to see 300 on Sunday.

Both movies left me unsatisfied on one or more levels. Be warned - there will be spoilers.

The Last Mimzy is based on the story Mimsy Were The Borogroves by Lewis Padgett (the Golden Age duo of Henry Kuttner and C. L. Moore). It's a classic story, science fiction at its best - well-written, concise and with a chilling ending that leaves you thinking. It's one of my favorites, from that era of SF or any other, and it's aged very well. The Last Mimzy takes the basic plot (children find box of educational toys from the future, become "other") and gives it a more Spielbergian look and feel - suddenly it's about getting genetic material from the past to the future, where that material can reverse severe pollutant-caused damage to humanity's DNA. It's no longer about parents' dread that their children are becoming different, that children don't think like adults. Now, it's about the purity of a young child's heart saving the world through a single tear. With Special Effects. And Tibetan Buddhism. Nice happy ending, everything's all wrapped up in a nice, neat little package. Michael Clarke Duncan, playing an offical with the Department of Homeland Security, is wasted in a role with too little screen time and blatantly inserted solely to ensure that there is a Problem For The Children To Overcome. At the end of the movie, the government agents simply release the children and their parents and fly off in a helicopter - necessary for there to be a happy ending, but logically inconsistent, even within the screwed-up logic of the film itself. Franny and her friend enjoyed it, so it was a success on that level, but for me it was much like eating a soy-product "cheeseburger" - mildly reminiscent of something I love, but devoid of substance or real flavor.

Now, on to 300.

I was left even less satisfied with this film. Not even a bucket of beer and one of the Alamo Drafthouse's excellent cheeseburgers could make a difference. The film is based on Frank Miller's graphic novel of the same name, which is in turn Miller's take on the Battle of Thermopylae, one of the key events in the Persian Wars. I read 300 some years back and was annoyed by it - Miller's art and vision did not, for me, live up to the actual events. I'm fascinated by that period of Greek history, and I've done a lot of reading up on it. From the equipment, training and tactics of the period up to the nitty-gritty details of the various cultures of the Greek city-states, on through to the dynastic struggles and internal politics of the Persian Empire. I'm not an expert, and don't claim to be one, but even as a casual student of history, Miller's version of the battle failed to capture what entrances me most about it. I could devote dozens of blog entries to analyzing every scene of the movie, picking it apart and detailing every single inconsistency, but I simply don't have that kind of time.

Instead, I'll give you a few things I learned from the movie:

1. The Greeks had the Bowflex, which made them incredibly buff with washboard abs and impressive biceps. This was matched against the Persians' access to body-piercing parlors and Macy's Parade float designers.
2. Women in Greece suffered intensely from the cold, which made their nipples unusually prominent.
3. Xerxes was a nancy-boy that liked wearing makeup and dressing like he was in Rio for Carnival.
4. Despite this, he had an impressive array of lesbian amputee strippers at his beck and call
   
5. Sparta (a brutal militaristic regime that practiced slavery and infanticide on a massive scale) stood up for the rights of free men everywhere.
6. Athens was unique among Greek city-states in its practice of homosexuality, which caused no end of sniggering among the other city-states.
7. Despite what Herodotus and other historians will tell you, it was all Sparta at Thermopylae, except for a few dudes from other cities that got to show up halfway through the movie and hide behind a small branch so they could surprise the Persians.
8. Xerxes' army was so ugly that most of them had to hide their faces.
9. Xerxes had everyone from Bedouins to Ninjas in his army.
10. A leather codpiece and a couple of straps are all the armor the Greeks needed.
11. The Persians had arteries all over their bodies as well as quick-clotting blood, which is why every blow struck by a Spartan caused a massive spray of chunky blood.

I can't really recommend 300 for anyone. I know there are people that really liked it, but the film just didn't work for me. The CGI and bad history proved to be too much of a distraction, and the plot and script just aren't strong enough to carry it all.

Addendum: Gord has more to say, and he says it more eloquently.
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 9:33:00 AM

 
This, I'll Go See


posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 11:29:00 PM

 
Obey To WaPo: PWNED!!!

Seriously, a great smackdown of this little piece of bullshit from Professional Dickwad Fred Hiatt at the Washington Post. Seems the Democrats have offended the pissant turd-chomper Hiatt with their Iraq Bill. "Oh, Myrtle! Bring me the smelling salts, I think I'm getting the vapors! The Democrats are using the political process and Constitutional Checks and Balances to build a legislative consensus!"

Fortunately, Congressman David Obey had a smackdown for Fred Hiatt, addplepated buttwiper:

Let me submit to you the problem we have today is not that we didn't listen enough to people like The Washington Post. It's that we listened too much. They endorsed going to war in the first place. They helped drive the drumbeat that drove almost two-thirds of the people in this chamber to vote for that misbegotten, stupid, ill-advised war that has destroyed our influence over a third of the world. So I make no apology if the moral sensibilities of some people on this floor, or the editorial writers of The Washington Post, are offended because they don't like the specific language contained in our benchmarks or in our timelines.

What matters in the end is not what the specific language is. What matters is whether or not we produce a product today that puts pressure on this Administration and sends a message to Iraq, to the Iraqi politicians that we're going to end the permanent long-term dead end babysitting service. That's what we're trying to do. And if The Washington Post is offended about the way we do it, that's just too bad.

In short, then, you kneebiting morons at the Washington Post can go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut.
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 1:17:00 PM

 
If this comes as a surprise...

... I've got a great deal on a bridge in Brooklyn, or maybe some gold bricks.

Bushisatas sabotaged the government's case against Big Tobacco

The former leader of the Justice Department team that prosecuted a landmark lawsuit against tobacco companies said yesterday Bush administration political appointees repeatedly ordered her to take steps that weakened the government's racketeering case.

Sharon Eubanks said Bush loyalists in Attorney General Alberto Gonzales' office began micromanaging the team's strategy in the last weeks of the 2005 trial.

Ain't that a shocker? Yeah, in other news, the sun sets in the west and water is wet.
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 4:31:00 PM

 
Fear Me! I Have Powers!

aclipscomb's Amazing Mental Ability ... You can turn trout into guns, and occasionally grenades (Remember ... with great power comes great responsibility!) 'What is your Amazing Mental Ability?' at QuizGalaxy.com

- yoinked from Adrienne
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 7:21:00 AM

 
Back In The Saddle

Back in the office, trying to catch up on everything going on.

God-DAMN, the Dems have been busy in Congress. Need to remember to send them a thank-you note.

More later, once I get some breathing room.
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 12:56:00 PM

 
This Looks Good...

It's been a bad couple of days here. It's work stuff, so I can't go into any detail here, but feel free to email me if'n you're curious. Nothing super-bad, I just don't want to dooce myself.

So I'm casting about desperately for things to be enthusiastic about.

This is something I can really, really dig. Many of you out there don't share the Harlen love what I got, and that's cool. For those that do, and those that haven't had the unadulterated pleasure of the metaphorical gut-punch that is Ellison's best, click on the link. "Dreams With Sharp Teeth" looks to be some good stuff. Follow the link above, then select "Prince Myshkin" for some classic Ellison.

Suffice it to say that yesterday was the crappiest day I've had in a while, for many, many reasons. "Prince Myshkin" made for a smile I desperately needed.
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 9:16:00 PM

 
A Typical Austin Date

Melissa and I hired a babysitter last night and went out - first for dinner at Ararat, a local Turkish/middle-eastern/Austin restaurant. For an appetizer, I ordered Drinker's Choice which was a big hit - sweet but not cloying, went perfectly with the fresh pita bread and the wine, a tasty merlot. Melissa had grilled salmon and I had sizzling lamb, then baklava for dessert. There was a really good tribal-style belly dancer there, too.

After that dinner, we drove to a local coffee house where a friend from Mel's grad school days was playing - his band, The Late Joys, was doing an acoustic set. Good music, and a good time. The crowd was a little sparse, but we had fun listening to the tunes and drinking good coffee and beer, plus catching up with Robi. Adrienne, Robi sez "Hi!" Seriously, if you get a chance, go catch The Late Joys. They've got a good sound - perhaps best if we use Robi's words to tell you about it:

The trio's music jangles the nerves and tickles the tendons with (mostly) up-tempo post-punk influenced songs penned by Robi Polgar (guitars, vocals) and performed by RP, Patrick Lopez (bass) and Rex Rizk (drums). These are infectious, Rickenbacker-laced confections with literate lyrics, catchy melodies and left-leaning political sensibilities. Songs of love and loss go hand in hand with paeans to provocation, all performed joyfully to a great pop beat.

There's some samples at their site, I heartily recommend you check 'em out.

So, to sum up:
(1) Good, eclectic food - check
(2) Good music - check
(3) Good beer, coffee and conversation - check

It could only have been more typically Austin if we'd rounded it out with a late snack/early breakfast at Kerby Lane.
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:48:00 AM

 
Ahem

Yes, this is purely self-serving and intended only to feed my already oversized ego.

Deal.


Get your own CrushTag!
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 6:33:00 PM

 
Open Invitation

I just bottled my first batch of beer. If you feel like living dangerously, drop by in about 3 weeks and we'll see if I'm a poisoner or a brewmeister.

The more prudent of you might want to wait until I've done a second batch, just to give me a chance to iron the wrinkles out of the process.
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 3:32:00 PM

 
Sometimes, I Have Hope

Occasionally, we hairless apes get something right.
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 3:13:00 PM

 
News From The Front Lines

What if there was a worldwide zombie epidemic? Then we'd all rely on Zombie World News for the most up-to-date information on the zombie sitch.
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 4:07:00 PM

 
This Is Just Weird

Carnivorous Cow.

When dozens of chickens went missing from a remote West Bengal village, everyone blamed the neighbourhood dogs.

But Ajit Ghosh, the owner of the missing chickens, eventually solved the puzzle when he caught his cow -- a sacred animal for the Hindu family -- gobbling up several of them at night.

posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 12:35:00 PM

 
Fucking Liar

I've refrained from comment on the latest episode of Ann Coulter spewing out her usual toxic bile just because it's more of the same old shit, except that this time a couple of conservatives have gotten their knickers twisted over Ann's use of ::gasp:: profanity. Wow, what a shocker - Ann Coulter vomited out a noxious slur in public. I suppose next we'll discover that the sun rises in the east and that water is wet. Yeah, she's a noxious, hateful, strident scumbag. Not exactly news.

That said, I had to respond to this:

Ann Coulter said that nobody should have been offended when she called John Edwards a "faggot" at the Conservative Political Action Conference. "'Faggot' isn't offensive to gays; it has nothing to do with gays," Coulter said. "It's a schoolyard taunt meaning 'wuss,' and unless you're telling me that John Edwards is gay, it was not applied to a gay person."

Umm, 'th FUCK?

No, Ms. Coulter, you're a goddamn liar. It is most emphatically a homophobic slur.

There's a nasty streak of homophobia present in American culture - from the teenagers that use "gay" as a perjorative ("Dude, that's so gay!), to the demonization of homosexuals by not just the religious right, but by people considered "mainstream". When I was a kid, calling another boy a "faggot" was the equivalent of slapping him with your glove and arranging a formal duel - to prove your status as a faggot-hater, you had to take a swing at the name-caller. I can't count the number of times I wound up with my face in the dirt and a bully sitting on my back calling me "little faggot" or "goddamn cocksucker". I didn't identify as bisexual then - I considered myself sexually normal as far as I even thought about it - but I knew that it was deeply shameful to let other boys get away with calling you a faggot. Failure to immediately launch yourself at the name-caller was ipso facto proof of your status as a dirty, nasty, faggot.

Ann Coulter, as many others have pointed out, knew exactly what she was saying - Democrats Are Faggots. CPAC knew exactly what they were getting with Coulter - someone to throw some meat to the dogs. The very fact that Coulter's "faggot" was greeted with such applause shows that she gave the audience exactly what they wanted.

In the long run, as much as I hope it's the straw that broke the camel's back, I don't think this is Coulter's death-knell. The So-Called Liberal Media still love to book her as a commentator, the GOP loves having her around, the 25% of sociopathic bigots in this country will continue to adore her for her "outspoken" ways. Sadly, it'll take a lot more than this to put a stake through the heart of this vampyr. Still, dare to dream and all that, wot?

****************************

On a related note, I'd like to state now that I am officially sick and goddamn tired of the "She's a MAN, baby!" jokes. You can tell me all day long that you really believe she's a transexual and you're saying that to point out her hypocrisy, and that you don't mean it as a slur against the transgendered, but I'll be damned if there's any other way for me to hear that. I don't know if Ann Coulter was born male, but I doubt it. If she is TG, then present the evidence and we can discuss the relevance of it to the issues at hand - otherwise, shut the fuck up about it. I don't want to listen to any goddamn schoolyard sniggering about it any fucking longer.
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:45:00 AM

 
Gilbert & Sullivan's "Baby Got Back"



Now this makes me want to watch Gilbert & Sullivan.

I wonder when we'll get to see Fifty Cent's arrangement of "The Mikado".
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:50:00 AM

 
Uhhhh, Yeah. Riiiiiight.

Mom: Giggling bandits 'little girls that made a bad choice'

Ashley Miller and Heather Johnston, both 19, were videotaped wearing sunglasses and laughing as they appeared to rob a Bank of America in upscale Acworth on February 27.

Police also arrested a bank teller and another man in connection with the theft, saying the heist appeared to be an inside job. Miller and Johnston remained jailed Monday morning.

"I want (people) to know that her and Heather both are not bandits," Joy Miller told ABC's "Good Morning America" Monday." "They're little girls that made a bad choice."

No, Joy, they're not little girls. They're adults, in a very real and legally binding sense, which they will fully understand when they hit prison. Also, they totally suck as bank robbers. If you're pulling off an inside job, MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A GODDAMN ROBBERY. Don't giggle, snicker or cut up. Be businesslike but polite, and for God's sake, wear a decent disguise.

Is this what we're teaching the kids these days, how to pull off crappy crimes like this? I tell you, I weep for the future if this is the best we've got in the next generation.
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 1:31:00 PM

 
Who'd A Thunk It?

You'll die of a Heart Attack.

You will die of a heart attack really late in life, after you've lived to your fullest.

'How will you die?' at QuizGalaxy.com

posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 2:16:00 PM

 
I Can't Say It Better Than This

Tristero sums it up perfectly WRT Bush and Iraq.

True: In principle, the US in 2009 will have as much legitimate reason to remain in Iraq as it does now, ie none. But principles of that sort mean nothing when faced with a situation that could lead to a genocide. A genocide which, like it or not, will be blamed on every American, including those of us who opposed the war. And I think that it is entirely plausible that in 2009, Iraq will be on the verge of, if not in the middle of, a genocide.

Likewise, I think it is entirely plausible that the situation in 2009 - complicated by the continued incompetence of Bush as well as the unpredictable actions of, say, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Israel, and others - will make it clear that the US can best address the situation by leaving, and fast.

posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 12:53:00 PM

 
Very General Work Stuff

My New Corporate Overlords release "RiF" lists on the first Friday of the month, which means that our anxiety builds to a frenzied crescendo up until the end of the workday on Friday, when it collapses, you breathe a sigh of relief and then it all starts again.

Looks like I'll be around a while longer, which is good, as I still haven't been able to line up another job.

Any eccentric billionaires reading this, feel free to gift me with a metric assload of cash. If you pay me enough, I'll even do windows.
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 12:06:00 PM

 
BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Remember Douglas Feith? The guy Tommy Franks called "the fucking stupidest guy on the face of the earth"?

He's got a website now!

And someone's even created a pretty good parody site, too.

I just about died reading the second one - it's so deadpan!
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:32:00 AM